


Rushingly Bittersweet

by danniburgh



Category: Narcos (TV), Pedro Pascal - Fandom
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drinking, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Javier Peña being pinned i mean what, Javier Peña not wanting to be a sappy boy but he cant avoid it, Narcos season 3, Pedro Pascal Characters, Plot Twists, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Smoking, Third season, but not so much, i had to watch the 3rd season again to write this, javier peña - Freeform, just me inserting reader into the 3rd season basically, reader is a badass, reader with a name
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28992381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danniburgh/pseuds/danniburgh
Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way to fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel's operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.And much to his distress, he couldn't seem to stop any of that.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader, Javier Peña/You
Comments: 27
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Main warnings: talks and mentions of misogyny and sexism, smoking, drinking, eventual sex, cartel shit, watch me make some shit up to fit reader inside the narrative, guns, dea shit, feels, javier actually being a little bit more introspective, just basically me inserting reader into the third season]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been simmering in the back of my head for way too long, i even made a post on tumblr about it just trying to ease the weight of my thoughts but my mind keeps racing with more things about this exact story, so here goes nothing. THIS GOES ALONG THE CANON OF THE THIRD SEASON kinda (so yeah, spoilers if you haven’t watched it yet)  
> this chapter is set in season three, episode one

You knew you chose a difficult job, hell, a difficult career, you knew you had to prove yourself, your worth and your abilities countless times, at this point it wasn’t even that much of a surprise anymore. Every time you encountered another man in the office or in the field, you had to spend an incredible amount of time first proving you were capable and you knew what you were doing before even getting to work.

Yet you got comfortable in your previous destination, you had a team, you had people to trust and trusted you back, they knew you were more than capable, you didn’t have to tell them to listen to you or your ideas, you didn’t have to ask for anyone’s approval. You were just another agent.

But now you had to do it all over again.

“Shit” you growled, trying to unwrinkle your blazer with one hand, the flight down to Colombia hadn’t been at all gentle to you and you were tired and cold. Your feet were sore, your back was killing you, you were fighting the desire to get rid of your suit skirt and run to put some pants on, everybody was lying when they said Colombia was a hot place, the air was chilly, and the dress suit you were wearing barely provided any meaningful heat, and the fact that nobody went to pick you up at the airport made you even more frustrated. You were still pulling around your suitcase because apparently the embassy is such a fucking mess that not  even one person told you where you were going to live yet. 

You showed your badge to the guards at the doors and they let you in without much of a look. You walked right through the lobby into the elevator, sighing in relief. Thanks America and its air conditioned buildings.

The elevator doors opened and you walked straight inside of the DEA offices, they were small, cramped and dark, great, just how you liked your work spaces.

“Hi” you said, approaching the small front desk, the receptionist looked up at you and smiled, it was the first smile you saw in a while and that made you feel a little less frustrated, you pulled out the badge again and showed it to her “can you please direct me to the office of Javier Peña?” you asked.

The girl tilted her head to the left in confusion.

“Are you agent Martin?” she said with her thick american accent, you put the badge again in the pocket of your dress pants and nodded to her.

“Yes, is he– is he expecting me?” 

“Not really, but agent Feistl is,” she said, pointing to a cornered desk almost in the back where a blond man was sitting, he looked up at the sound of his name and you sighed again.

“Oh, yeah, I talked to him on the phone, thank you,” you said, smiling a bit back to her while you walked around the unoccupied desks in the front of the office “Feistl” you said his name once you reached his desk, stretching out your hand to shake his “agent Martín” you said “it’s nice to meet you” he looked at you, frowning, but took your hand nonetheless and shook it.

“Chris Feistl” he said, a little taken aback and another man approached both of you “this is my partner, Daniel Van Ness” the larger man gave you a single nod and you shook his hand again.

“You’re agent Martin?” Van Ness said.

Here we go again.

“My last name is Martín, first name Florencia” you said, accentuating the í in your last name, inhaling the tension around and making it your own, yet another time “I’m guessing you were expecting a man?” you dropped, they looked at each other “don’t worry, it happens everytime” you finished with a small grin.

They remained silent, looking at you, yet another time you let them, although for a single moment you actually wondered if there was something wrong with the way you looked; you gave a glance to yourself on the elevator walls on your way up and aside from your hair being close to look like a mess you were ok, you take another second to try to analyze the men in front of you, the way they were standing, the expression on their faces, they were shocked that was for sure, but also… relieved? and somehow… happy?.

“Is there anywhere I can put this?” you asked, glancing at the suitcase.

“You came here all the way from the airport?” Feistl asked, you nodded.

“Yeah, no one showed up so I just grabbed a cab” Van Ness snorted and you looked at him. He didn’t say anything, “where’s my desk?” you asked again, starting to feel more frustrated but also a bit amused when again they didn’t say a thing, “you did get the memo that you’d be getting a new person today, right?” you questioned in a huff, a bit louder, looking at them in utter disbelief. Fucking embassy, fucking DEA.

“Is agent Martin here?” you heard your name being called from behind you, the men in front of you just widened their eyes and looked at you. 

“That would be me” you announced, turning around, seeing a tall, tanned skin, sweaty man approaching you, “and you must be Javier Peña” you said, allowing yourself to be more assured, stretching your hand again.

“ _ You _ are agent Martin” he said, making it sound half like a question, half an assertion, looking at you up and down, he put his hands on his hips, not bothering to take your hand.

“Florencia Martín, yes sir” you dropped down your hand and pronounced your last name again, trying to get american people to pronounce your name was hard, and you hoped at least Javier Peña would understand it, yet he said it wrong. He just stood there and you glanced at him discreetly, he, differently from the men behind you, was a walking ball of frustration, you sympathized and tried to read his posture. He was trying to be cocky but his try died in his eyes, he was shocked, surprised and not at all entertained.

“No wonder why I couldn’t find you in the airport” he growled.

“You were also expecting a man” you affirmed, this time, a small hint of disappointment grew inside your stomach “don’t worry, it happens all the time” you repeated roughly. You turned around to your new partners, not caring and ignoring the look your new boss was giving you “my desk?”

Van Ness pointed a small cubicle behind his and Feislt’s big desks, you suppressed a sigh and walked towards the space, still pulling your fucking suitcase, feeling the looks of three men in your back. You were used to this, you had done it countless times, and you knew you weren’t the only woman that has gone through this. But after spending the time you spent in one single place, with the same people, doing the same thing, after having an amazing partner that had believed in you since the day you almost punched the shit out of him on the academy, after having your own office to work with him, after having faced many masculine faces disapproving you being in the same rooms as them while chasing bad guys, after receiving thousands of condescending looks when you said anything, and yet being capable of raise everybody’s expectations, starting it all over again not only sounded hard, it also sounded exhausting.

Javier couldn’t believe his fucking luck when he looked at you. He certainly was expecting a man, Washington only told him so much and he assumed what everyone did when they heard your last name, in the end it was a masculine name. For some reason he felt guilty when you told him you always get that reaction.

He tried to examine you, ever the analyzer, but he got nothing, not from the way you were still standing in front of the ridiculously small cubicle, tapping your foot against the carpeted floor, or the way you kept putting a thin strand of hair behind your ear and it kept falling in front of your right cheekbone, nothing from the way you reached for the manila folder that was waiting to be picked up or the way your fingers moved around the pages. You seemed unreadable to him and he didn’t like that. Not one bit.

You turned around when you felt his stare, he was still just standing there, looking at you.

“Is this really everything I have to be briefed on?” you questioned him lifting the folder in your left hand. He nodded and turned to the right to walk to his office “well fuck that” you murmured under your breath. You heard Van Ness snorting again and looked at him giving you a small smile, maybe you didn’t say that as quietly as you wanted, you gave him half a grin and he shook his head.

You took off your blazer and sat on the incredibly uncomfortable chair.

“Shit” you whispered again.

“Fuck” Javier said under his breath, loosening his tie and crashing into his chair. He rubbed his eyes with the ball of his hands and sighed. What the fuck did the people at Washington think. He was after a whole fucking cartel, he didn’t have his trusted partner this time, he was alone and he had to lead a team to do that, he had just lost two agents after they were stupid and reckless going around Cali and they dared to send down one random chick in some sort of replacement that for some reason seemed just so small and frail to him.

He was pretty sure you weren’t due to the fact that you were a DEA agent, but when he looked at you the only thing he could notice was the way your eyes were dimmed, maybe due to the fluorescent lights or the fact that you had flown who-knows how many hours to be there, or the way your hands seemed way too delicate to even handle a gun, or how your body looked breakable to the touch. 

He didn’t like the way his mind was forming his thoughts about you, it wasn’t right to think that way of a woman- no, a person- no, an agent he had just met, he just knew it was the macho part in him that saw you that way. He knew that if Washington had sent you all the way down to a god forsaken country fighting an unfair war, you had to be capable to endure it.

Javier scratched his stubble and reached for the thinest folder he had on his desk, it was your file. He grinned when he opened it, unbelieving of the almost non existent amount of information it had about you. It did have your full name, though, so, mistaking you for a guy was indeed his fault, just because he didn’t read the file before. 

He browsed through the last locations you had been sent to and raised his eyebrows when he saw the amount of time you’d spent in the last place. No wonder why you were being so reluctant about everything you saw and how you were being treated. He remembered how he felt when he was a newcomer and he remembered what he had to go through with Steve when he first came to the country, it was awful, and even without the language barrier, as your file said you did speak spanish, he assumed you must feel like an outcast. It was never easy, arriving at a place where everything seemed like it belonged there but you.

Javier closed the file and threw it back to the pile of manila folders in front of him. He did have his doubts about you, and surely he was wondering why he had only been sent that joke of a file and nothing else, and he didn’t want to make your stay in Colombia or at the embassy a living hell, but he did want to see what you were able to do, he couldn’t wait for you to show him what you had in you.

That last thought sent him for a bit through a deliciously nasty tangent, and he had to bring himself back to the initial train of thought: you. 

You were now his. No– you were now in his team. He was now your boss. He couldn’t think of you in any other way even if sometimes it couldn’t be avoided.

Javier rubbed his lower lip with his thumb, wondering what were you working on before arriving, trying to think what was happening in México that made you stay that long.

And a question was forming in his head… What the hell did you do to be sent to Colombia?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warnings: depictions of misogyny, some cursing, mentions of child d*ath  
> this chapter is set in season three, episode two.  
> from now on there's gonna be some mentions of mexican narcos, but you don't have to watch narcos: mexico to get it :)  
> this chapter is set in season three, episode two

A week. You’d been in Colombia for almost a week and it had been the most difficult five days of maybe your entire life.

Your first day went on slower than a row-boat, and then after having to catch up on the lives of yet another set of fucking narcos, your boss insisted in driving you home. 

To a crappy apartment in a middle-class neighbourhood. 

“I live a block away” he had said, pointing with the hand he was using to hold the steering wheel, more under his breath than to you.

You had looked at the building and exhaled all the air you had stored in your lungs. 

“You don’t like it?” he asked you in a tone that sounded more amused than offended.

“I had better” you responded, opening the door of his truck and getting out without another word.

“I bet you had” he smirked, you opened the door to the backseat and pulled out your suitcase “is that everything you brought?” he questioned, you closed the door and walked to the co-pilot side window.

“I wanted to see where I’m going to live before requesting for my things to be sent” you explained, he handed you over the seat a set of keys.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven” he said, putting the car in drive with your hand still inside “then we can request you a car” you nodded and took out your hand. He drove off before you could thank him.

The keys in your hand had a small keychain with the address scribbled. You looked up again, it wasn’t that much of a tall building; only four stories high, it was all brick and short windows with bars, you didn’t want to guess why, the front door was a dark blue and it reminded you of your neighbour’s door back home, that was almost the exact same color, your designated apartment was on the third floor, you were really tired and you really hoped there was an elevator so you didn’t have to climb three flights of stairs wearing heels.

There wasn’t.

When you opened the door you left a groan out loudly.

“Come on” you walked inside and the smell of the enclosure was the first thing that hit your face, you closed the door and turned on the light. It was small. Way smaller than the one you used to live in. The furniture was as generic as it can be, considering it was a rental apartment, at the right there was a couch that looked suspiciously clean, one armchair and the smallest coffee table in the world, there was a twenty inch television on what looked like a nightstand near the window. To the left there was a smaller kitchen, just a stove with four burners, one counter and a not-so-tall fridge, the island that connected to the entrance had a sink on one side. You dropped the keys there and walked straight to one of two doors that were on that wall. The first one was the bathroom, you left a small whimper out when you saw that it had a fucking tub, a shower-tub combo. It was your lucky day apparently, even though it took half the space in the bathroom, you left the door open and went to the other one. The bedroom wasn’t that bad if you took in consideration the rest of the apartment. The bed looked comfy enough but way too close to the closet. “well fuck me”

And from then the week just worsened.

You met with the ambassador and it was a disaster.

He knew about what you did before, he had knowledge of your work back in México, he knew as well about your accomplishments, and yet almost the entire meeting was him putting in question everything you’ve done in your entire life (not really but really fucking close).

And even though you were used to it, it didn’t make it any less frustrating.

And your frustration became angryness fast, because you were starting a new job, and you felt impotent and powerless everytime Crosby dared to doubt you. For whatever reason you were thankful that your boss wasn’t in the meeting, just because you were sure that if he was he would just look at you the same way the ambassador was. You were starting to feel his comments and condescending looks like a personal attack even though you knew that it was just his own prejudice that made him overlook the fact that you were a trained DEA agent. He was just looking at the woman sitting in front of him. And luckily for him the meeting ended before you could burst and start spitting at him everything you were thinking.

By the third day you were  _ boiling,  _ your co-workers already had a dynamic, one that they weren’t inviting you in, one that made nothing but remind you of your last partner, the one you spent years with, the one that knew you and how you worked, the one that helped you through hard shit. And the looks your boss gave you every time he stepped out of his office most definitely weren’t helping at all.

Then the fourth day you had a confrontation with him because the embassy still hadn’t give you a fucking car and you didn’t want him to be your ride anymore. That day you smoked for the first time in almost a year. Fuck.

It was the fifth day, the last thing you wanted was people near you. You were standing before the board where the pictures of the Gentleman of Cali were pinned to, trying to study their faces. There was something about their expressions that made you intrigue, why on earth would the richest motherfuckers in the drug business retire like that? You opened the folder you were holding and started looking at the other pictures that were inside.

“Hey” you heard to your left “we haven’t properly met, I’m Stoddard” you glanced and saw his hand extended to you, you took it and shook it.

“I’m Martín” you said, turning your attention back to the pictures in your hand.

“I–” he started, you didn’t look at him “heard you were stationed in Mexico before” you nodded.

“Yup,” you shifted through the pictures “three years” you muttered.

“That’s so cool,” he said, you smirked “what’d you do there?”

“The same, catching bad guys, practicing my spanish” you saw out of the corner of your eyes how he was smiling at you.

“I’m sorry–” he sighed “I just have to ask–” he sounded anxious, you looked at him, raising an eyebrow “how old are you?” he said. You frowned and lowered the folder in your hands “it’s just that, you look very young” he stuttered “and there’s this rumor that you knew Kiki, so...” he whispered the late agent’s nickname.

You stood there next to him looking at his face for a second before breaking into a chuckle, the sound made Feistl look up and frown at the sight of you laughing for the first time since you arrived, Stoddard looked at you, still nervous, you noticed.

“Agent Camarena died almost ten years ago” you explained after controlling your laughter, a slight smile still in your mouth “I was just getting out of the academy when it happened” he nodded at you “and I’m old enough, you do the math” you winked and he smiled at you.

Stoddard turned around to leave you be.

“Hey” you called out, he turned to you again “who’s sayin’ that?” you asked, he looked down for a bit.

“Y’know how it is…” he shrugged “people make things up” you narrowed your eyes “you’re the new one after all” you held his stare for a few seconds before turning your head back to the pictures you were looking at before without giving it way too much of a thought. He walked away.

A brief moment passed and you went through all the pictures without getting anything from them. Useless pixels printed in photography paper.

You only knew so much about the drug lords from what you’ve read, but there wasn’t as much information as you wanted it to be. You needed more just to try to get inside their minds. But unlike the ones you’ve studied before, they weren’t exactly public with their drug trafficking strategies.

The phones around the office started blowing up, your newly acquired pager sounded as well, you turned around to see why everyone was starting to rush around, you glanced at your boss’s office and saw him standing with a hand on his chin, looking most preoccupied.

You power-walked to the office and entered without announcing yourself, the small tv he had there was on and there was a reportage about a gas leak that killed three children in Yumbo, a town in Cali.

“Shit” you whispered.

“Yeah” he said.

“They did this,” you affirmed. You saw him nod through the corner of your eyes “how could they?” you let out under your breath with your brows furrowed in disbelief and utter horror while the tv showed the pictures of the children that died. You felt him stare at you, you said nothing else.

Javier was shocked for two whole different reasons. The first, he didn’t take the Cali Cartel for terrorists and he knew there had to be something going on for them to make a move like that. The second, he didn’t take you for that much of a sensitive person, but the expression of pain in your face changed that.

He felt something inside him turn, he didn’t know what; he was angry about the whole situation, hell, he was ragingly furious, and yet somehow moved, because there you were, standing besides him, completely horrified and surprised that something like this would happen, even though he knew you knew what had occurred in the country, and the horrors the cartels had made the people of Colombia go through. Even though he knew you had to have seen more horrific things in your last station. He was completely amazed by your reaction.

You looked at him, he saw you back down a small tear.

“Are we going?” you asked, he tilted his head, confused “to Cali, are we?”

Javier wanted to grin, both in pride because you were starting to care about the whole endeavour and in irony because of what he knew and it wasn’t the first time someone had asked him the same that week. He shook his head.

“What do you mean no?” you spat “so down here they can just pull shit like that and we have to stay here doing nothing?” he didn’t say a word “bullshit” you said, storming out of the office, Javier saw you sprint around through the desks to sit at yours and then let that grin get out.

Then the television showed the health inspector and Javier’s grin died quickly, he was stating that the whole thing was just a gas leak and it was an accident. He remembered the random blonde reporter that came to see him that same afternoon and how she told him that the same thing he was seeing on the tv was going to happen. 

“Shit” he muttered angrily.

Javier walked out of the office, he didn’t care about what Washington had planned, he didn’t care if the ambassador and the national police told him not to act, he didn’t care, the Cali cartel was doing shit to keep on beating the dead horse empty until the six months to their retirement were due. And he couldn’t have that.

He reached Feistl’s desk and the blond man looked at him, you did the same from your position, trying to read his expression, he seemed angry and confident yet a bit nervous.

“You got a partner, right?” Javier asked, Feistl looked at Van Ness

“Yeah, kinda?”

“Good, you’re going to Cali” he said, walking away, Feistl smiled and nodded, you saw Van Ness rolling his eyes, you stood up and walked behind him.

“Sir” you called out, he didn’t stop, he walked into his office and you did the same “sir” you let out again, more demanding, he turned to see you.

“No” he let out, you frowned.

“You don’t even know what I want” you spat, he looked at you and ran his gaze throughout your body.

“You’re not going to Cali, Martín” he said once his eyes were on yours.

Your stomach turned in anger and even when you thought your frown couldn’t get deeper, it did.

“May I ask why not?” you questioned, voice deepened in exasperation, trying not to scream.

“No” he let out again, you felt your jaw tighten and he just looked at you, you tried to read his expression again but the anger in your eyes didn’t let you. Fuck.

You turned around and walked out, went as quick as you could without running to your desk, grabbed your bag and your blazer and stormed out of the offices. So much for a first fucking week.

Javier watched it all with a blank expression, somehow disappointed. He knew you wanted to prove yourself to every agent down there, but he was already breaking god-knows how many rules by sending Feistl and Van Ness to Cali, he was sure that if he had sent you down there too he might as well turn in his resignation letter. You had to stay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we have reader/Florencia speaking spanish AND Javier having huge asshole behavior, sorry bout that  
> this chapter is set in season three, episode three

You still were angry three days later; of fucking course you were. You kept repeating to yourself that if something was crystal clear and assured, was the fact that nothing was going to be easy, you already knew that, but you were human, and you were so used to your previous dynamic, you had spent years in Mexico and you were so accustomed at your coworkers seeing you as another agent that the moment you faced rejection again just because you didn’t have a fucking penis you wanted to fucking cry tears of pure anger. You had to remind yourself how you had dealt with everything when you first arrived back there, so you could do it again now that you were in Colombia. Javier was still playing chauffeur for you, picking you up at the sidewalk in front of your shitty building and driving in silence to the embassy.

“I’m just gonna drop you at the gates, I have to be somewhere” he mumbled, you looked at him for a few seconds and frowned.

“Where do you have to be? Are you picking up the senators?” you asked him, that morning had been scheduled for him to have a meeting with two american senators, the ambassador and some other big names, you didn’t actually know who was visiting at all but Stoddard had mentioned it lightly to you while making small talk. He deflated next to you.

“Shit” he cursed under his breath. He didn’t remember. You didn’t comment on it.

He then parked inside the embassy and got down with you, you walked to the entrance shoulder by shoulder in what must have been one of the most uncomfortable silences in the history of the world, you tried to keep up with his pace and you got inside the elevator together. 

You praised a god you didn’t believe in when the elevator doors opened on the DEA floor and got out without so much of a word, leaving him inside, he had to go to the ambassador's office.

You walked into the offices and saw Stoddard already in his desk, typing on his computer.

“Morning” you greeted, passing by him to a desk near his that you had claimed yours when you saw it was unoccupied, finally getting rid of the joke of a desk you had used for your first few days.

“Hi” he smiled at you.

He was a nice person, one of the nicest around you. You didn’t have much time to get to know Feistl and Van Ness on the time before they left for Cali, they were as mute as any other DEA agent, but Stoddard wasn’t, you thought he was really cheery for a federal agent, even after seeing everything you saw, he kept always an aura of optimism, you’d call it naïvness as well. He was a stuck up, that was for sure, but a funny, smart, kind of shy one.

A few hours go by without either of you hearing anything about your boss.

You thought he had been swallowed into the earth’s core and as you were still angry about him not letting you go to Cali, you couldn’t care less if he was. But then he shows up, rushing to his office. Fuck.

“Stoddard” he called out, showing his head through the glass door of his office “get me anything we have about Franklin Jurado, the man that moves Cali’s money” he tapped on the glass and then looked at you “help him” he said, getting inside again. You frowned at the way he directed himself at you but got up anyway.

“I’ll go to the records room” you announced, Stoddard nodded and you walked past Javier’s office trying to get a glance of him just to see if you could read him. He was stiff as a flag mast, he was looking at nothing and you kept a smile hidden because he was  _ thinking,  _ not only thinking, he was scheming, you could practically see the gears inside his head work while he stood there next to his desk. You wanted to stay, wanted to keep looking at him while he came up with something, anything, but he was two seconds away to notice you looking at him. So you walked away.

When you came out of the records room he was gone. And you pouted at the sight of the empty office.

You fucking pouted.

Three hours later you were trying to get Stoddard to buy lunch for the both of you when the phone rang. He picked up in a breath.

“Yes sir?” he answered, it was Javier and you stared at the guy’s face to try to determine what was going on as you couldn’t listen to what your boss was saying to him “Panama?” he asked, you frowned again “alright, I’ll get that sorted out” he said and hung up the phone.

“He’s going to fucking Panamá?” you questioned, surprised by your tone of confusion and a bit of concern mixed with a drop of disappointment.

“I guess” he shrugged.

What the hell was going on.

You had two questions to yourself: the first one, why were you feeling this? Your boss was about to travel to another country out of nowhere, he surely had to know what he was doing, you shouldn’t feel... worried? no, scared? no, sad? no, all of the above? maybe. You tried to compose yourself while trying to get the answer to your question but you didn’t know. It’s not like you were close to him in any way, he was your boss. And your driver most days. But nothing else. In fact you were mad at him for not letting you get yourself into the wolf’s mouth of the colombian drug business. It was true that the last few days you’d been looking at him a little more, and trying to get inside his head when he was in his office, also it was true that you glanced at him on the mornings while he drove the both of you to work, and certainly it was true that when you were drifting off in your not so shitty bed his face quickly passed through your mind, but… That didn’t mean jackshit. Did it?

And the second question, how could you help? If you were already trapped inside the embassy without so much to do you might as well make yourself useful, you started browsing to the small amount of physical files the agency had about Franklin Jurado and along with Stoddard started making assumptions and trying to get as much information as you could about him. 

And so on for hours, until your boss called again and shouted onto the phone that he hadn’t flown to Panama but he wanted you to keep digging, hanging as soon as he finished and leaving you and your young partner to look at each other quizzically.

And so you did.

“We didn’t eat lunch” you said to the guy sitting in front of you while reading a financial report and holding a lit cigarette between your fingers, when the office started to empty a few hours ago you dragged a chair to the front of his desk and now your feet were resting on the surface, dangerously close to the computer monitor.

“Want me to grab you something from the vending machine?” he asked, not looking up from the file he had between hands. You grinned at his kindness, you knew he didn’t offer something like that because he thought you couldn’t do it yourself, but because he was just nice.

“You know I do” he left the file on the desk, as soon as he stood up the phone rang. He pushed the speaker button.

“Stoddard” Javier’s voice came through the phone, you sat straight and put down your feet and the cigarette on the small ashtray by the edge of the desk “what did you find out? did you call Panamá?” he asked, Stoddard looked at you and you shook your head.

“Yeah” he responded “we called and told the authorities but the DEA said they had no warrant and there wasn’t any detentions”

“Fuck” Javier sighed out. 

“Jurado didn’t even stay in Panamá,” Stoddard informed him.

“Do you know where he went?” Javier muttered through. 

“No” the guy looked at you when he said it, you both heard Javier sigh again.

“So he could be anywhere, fuck!” there was a second of silence, you raised your eyebrows.

“Javier” you called out, Stoddard looked at you, confused at how you were using your boss’s first name just casually “Feistl and Van Ness had been trying you, a lot” you heard yet another sigh.

“You put them through when you get them, I’m on my way back” he roared.

“Okay” Stoddard said.

“And guys? Jurado has a wife in Bogotá, she’s American,” you frowned, there was nothing on the files about the guy having a wife, you wondered how he had found out about her and were about to drift off inside your mind when he talked again “put a tap on her phone.” he told, Stoddard widened his eyes and looked at you, shaking his head no.

“I-” he stuttered “I don-” for a millisecond you found his stutter cute, but Javier was onto something, you were sure of it.

“We’ll do” you exclaimed, Stoddard frowned at you this time and the line cut off.

Javier had just landed after a shitty afternoon with Stechner and who he called  _ the fucking senators  _ in the jungle, and he felt himself smile when he heard you assure to him that you would do what he asked. He surely thought there was something else about you but he didn’t think that was it. You were willing to do things under the law to get shit done. He somehow liked that.

“Are you crazy?” he whispered, you were about to explain to him that sometimes there were things that weren’t exactly correct to be done to get to an end when your pager started beeping. You took it out of your pocket and saw a very familiar number and the brief text  **INFO!!** in all caps.

You smiled and grabbed the phone.

“What’s the area code for México?” you asked him.

“I have no idea” he said in another frown. You reached inside your head for the number and grabbed the phone receiver and started dialing the digits.

The line sounded three times before it was picked up.

“Marcos” you exclaimed with a small grin “¿qué me tienes?” (what do you have for me?)

Stoddard stared at you quizzically and you lifted a finger, asking him to hold.

“¿Cómo estás, Florecita?” (how are you little flower) you hated the nickname, but after what felt like an eternity you were listening to your former partner’s voice teasing you with it.

“Sigo viva, ¿qué pasó?” (I’m still alive, what happened?) you joked, impatient.

“Adivina a quién vimos hoy acá en Guadalajara…” (guess who we saw today here in Guadalajara) he mentioned, you heard his smile, this was big. You waited for him to continue “a Pacho Herrera” he said, your grin grew wider. Stoddard deepened his frown.

“No mames” ( _ no actual translation, sort of:  _ no way) you fucking knew it “¿qué carajos anda haciendo allá?” (what the fuck is he doing up there?) you saw Stoddard looking at you, quite impressed of your accented spanish.

“Encontrándose con un viejo amigo” (meeting with an old friend) he said.

“No” you gushed, already knowing where this was going.

“Amado Carrillo” you heard.

“Fuck!” you let out, Stoddard jumped out in surprise, watching as you smiled, he had never seen you smile like that before “dime que tienes imagen, por favor dime que si” (tell me you have an image, please tell me you do) you pleaded. He chuckled and you stood up in both surprise and celebration “acabas de salvarme el culo” (you just saved my ass) you said “tuve una semana horrible y me acabas de dar la mejor noticia del mes” (I just had a horrible week and you just gave me this month’s best news).

“Dame el número del fax, te las mando” (give me the fax number, I’ll send them to you) you snapped your fingers to Stoddard.

“What’s the fax number?” you asked, he gave it to you as you gave it to Marcos.

“Las tienes en media hora” (you’ll have them in half an hour) he told you.

“Eres un pinche ángel” (you’re a fucking angel) you thanked him

“Ya se, Florecita” (I know) and hung up the phone. You put the receiver back in the base and looked at Stoddard.

“I know where Pacho Hererra is” you announced with a smile.

The elevator doors opened when Stoddard and you were sorting out all the kind of poorly printed photos Marcos had faxed to you, you were scribbling as well on a notepad what you were noticing in the pictures and explaining to Stoddard that you and Marcos, along with your former team in México had a man working in one of the inner circles of the Juárez cartel, and basically one in every plaza in the country and that you made your former partner promise to send you intel if he happened to find any about the Cali cartel, knowing they had business together.

“So you’re like a double agent?” Stoddard asked much to your amusement and you let out a chuckle.

“Yes, Martín, are you?” you heard a raspy voice behind you and you turned around, he had his hands on his hips and his face was sturdy, yes, but there was a hint of… tease? in it.

“I’m not, I just happen to have a very good friend and to be very well connected” you said, fighting back a grin.

“What’s all this?” he looked at the papers you had laying around on the desk.

“Pacho Herrera” Stoddard noted, smiling at your boss.

“He’s meeting with Amado Carrillo” you told him, going back to pick up one of the pixelated photographs and handing it to him, he took it and noticed thin red drawn marks on the capo’s face over the paper..

“The lord of the skies” Stoddard muttered.

“I’m aware of his existence” Javier bluterd sharply “this isn’t new, we knew they had business” he spat. You rolled your eyes.

“Look at this picture” you snatched the one he was holding and handed him another one you took from the chair you were sitting on before all of this. 

“Who took this?” He took it, unsure of what he was supposed to look at, Stoddard’s eyes lightened up.

“Tell him what you told me” he asked. You nodded.

“Doesn’t matter, the quality isn’t even that good but it's enough, look at this,” you stood next to him, something that made Javier feel the sudden need to get the away from you and pull you closer at the same time, you pointed at one of the snapshots of Pacho’s face, right below the eye and traced a line with your finger all the way through the mouth “his mouth is twitching down, his right eye is slightly closed, I can see his jaw is clenched and for the look of this other one,” you paused, browsing for an specific picture, feeling Javier's eyes following you, you found it and gave it to him, he was utterly confused, already frowing at the words that were coming out of your  _ pretty _ mouth, still not knowing what the fuck is he supposed to be seeing, other than you hurriedly and kind of excitedly blabbering about Pacho Herrera's face “can you notice the way his hand down here is grasping his knee?” he nodded when you pointed it out, then you dragged your finger again through the paper all the way to Pacho’s face “here’s the down twitch again, and he’s narrowing his eyes, that’s pure concern” you said, Stoddard was nodding towards you, again you felt it was cute, Javier looked down at you, you saw his face, frowned eyebrows, pursed lips, eyes in one place, he didn’t believe you, you searched for his eyes and held them to yours “trust me, I know, something is going on, he’s worried, I can clearly read it.” you pointed again at the pictures.

“Read it?” Javier asked.

“She’s a fucking criminal pyschologist” Stoddard exclaimed, grining at his boss “she can read people or something!” 

“Wait a minute– what?” Javier looked at you, his eyes were wandering through your face and you felt a sudden need to laugh at the way his deep brown eyes became unsure of themselves for a second.

“You didn’t read my file?” you questioned, teasingly.

“Your file barely has your name on it” he responded. You let out an impulsive snort and covered your mouth with the back of your hand to try and hide it, fucking embassy, fucking DEA “why didn’t you tell me?” he questioned, lowering his voice.

“You never asked, I thought you knew” you obviated.

“Who sent you this, anyway?” Javier questioned lifting the picture he was holding, you allowed yourself to show a cocky smile.

“My former partner, back in México” your voice came out presumptuously, just as you intended.

“And why is he sending you intel like that? just because?” he spat, his tone was rougher and it sounded more like a demand than a question.

“Well sometimes people wanna share stuff and work together” you said, frowning, he was ruining your mood “y’know, teamwork inside the agency?” you made your fingers entangle in a gesture and glanced at Stoddard who was just watching it all unfold.

“Are you fucking him, or something?” no he didn't. He didn't just ask you that. You wanted to slap him, no, you wanted to punch his  _ pretty _ jaw off. You felt your sight narrowing and your jaw clenching, you were glad in that moment he couldn't read expressions just because he'd know how much the failed-to-be-snarky comment had affected you.

And it wasn't like you weren't used to snarky, condescending, sexual commentary around you. You'd been enduring that kind of shit for years now. But again, you weren't expecting it from him.

Yet, not being a  _ criminal psychologist _ , he knew he had fucked up with that comment. He didn't need to be trained in facial expressions or body language or profiling (which he was) to notice how you deflated like a balloon exposed to the sun, ever so slowly, and then hardened your eyes to look at him directly into his, piercing into his head.

“Wow,” you let out, voice soft and rough at the same time “you know? almost everybody back in Washington warned me that working with you would be a pain in the ass” you spat, he believed that “and also how much of an asshole you are” he moved his eyes away from yours and you searched for them again, wanting him to feel like you felt, in the silence of the empty office, the fax started printing again “I just didn't think you were a  _ misogynistic _ asshole” you walked around him to the small table the fax was on and saw a late memo, you ripped it off the printer and walked to leave it in one of the desks “you know that saying? I learned it in Mexico,  _ el león cree que todos son de su condición _ ?” (the lion thinks that everyone is like him) you then walked to your desk and grabbed your bag and your blazer “be careful, Javier, at how you talk about someone, especially if that someone it’s as trained as you are” it wasn't a threat, it was a warning, you knew that, he knew that “I don’t have to fuck anybody for a small piece of intel” you hissed at him, making him more uncomfortable that he already was “all I want is a little fucking respect, I think I deserve it” you added and turned to Stoddard “give me a ride home, would ya?” the guy immediately nodded to you and took his briefcase, you two started walking out of the office and left Javier standing there, surrounded by black and white, zoomed-in questionable quality pictures of a narco. You didn't realize you were holding your breath until you got into the elevator and the doors closed. You let out all the air in your lungs and breathed new in.

“I can't believe you talked to him like that,” Stoddard whispered.

“Neither can I”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set in season three, episode three

Fuckfuckfuckfuck fucking shit fuckfuck. He blew it. He not only blew it, he destroyed it like the wolf destroyed two pig’s houses.

Javier leaned back on the desk full of papers. He was still holding one of the pictures you had handed him, he looked down at it again and not only saw Pacho Herrera’s fucking smugly ass face, but also the smal trail you had made with your finger, brushing ever so slightly the paper, putting the less amount of pressure on it, like you didn’t want to  _ hurt  _ the piece of paper.

“Fuck” he barked outloud, he dropped the photograph on the desk and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, his guilt invading the empty office, he knew what he said wasn’t right, that he had hurt you, hell, he even knew it wasn’t a good idea to say it a second before it came out of his mouth and he said it anyway, and immediately wanted to take it back when he saw what it had caused in you. He wanted to apologize to you even when you talked back to him with the most vicious snarks that he found both fitting and well put, he deserved that. He didn’t even mind the way you had called his first name, it even sounded good in your voice. Yet he felt worse when the last words you had directed towards him came out of your  _ pretty _ lips, because it was only the true, you deserved respect and you commanded it, he didn’t have any right to talk to you like that, it wasn’t even that much of a joke, it was pure venom being spilled out of his mouth because he wasn’t feeling the whole  _ I was sent important information by my last partner who I look like I miss a fuckton _ attitude and he wanted to know only one thing: why was he thinking like that about you?

You were intriguing to him, you made him curious, more than that you made him question a lot of things...  _ Who were you? Why were you down there? Why didn't the DEA even bother to send your information to your new destination? What did you do in México? Who is the person that seemed to care so much about you and your new quest to go through all the trouble of sending what it looked like dozens of pictures that clearly were taken from afar all the way to Colombia through a fucking fax? Why did he say what he said? Why did he feel the increasing need to look at you all the time? Why did he feel the way he did around you when he actually thought he would never feel something like that again? Why on earth were you so fucking smart and he had just confirmed it? Why you? What was the thing you had that his body and his mind went all numb over?  _

Oh, well fuck him then. 

It came to him the same way a second wave comes to a person when they had just dived into the first one, suddenly _ ,  _ like out of nowhere, surprisingly. And it made him laugh because he was pretty fucking sure now you hated him.

He fucking liked you.

Not in the way he usually liked his women, he didn’t think of you as someone to trade something over carnal contact. He didn’t think of you as an idea, or as a one night thing (like that brunette girl that sat three desks away from you that kept looking at him and he looked back at once in a while), or as a body to hover over all sweaty and agitated. No.

_ He liked you. _

And he didn’t even have any remote idea of how that had happened.

It just did.

Like most good things, it happened out of the blue, and for once it didn’t make him uncomfortable, just a bit unsure. Of himself.

He was so immersed in his own introspection that he almost didn't hear the phone ringing inside his office, he sprinted to it and picked up.

And his thoughts drifted off you for that night.

Because Feistl and Van Ness had eyes on one of the Gentleman of Cali.

And Javier knew exactly who to talk to about that.

Meanwhile in Stoddard’s relatively smaller car you were trying to get your shit together.

It did help that he kept blabbering things to you about your job and how cool he found everything you told him you had the ability to do. But only a little.

Because holy shit you wanted to cry.

You hadn’t felt like you were feeling in a long ass time. Maybe around a decade, maybe more. You felt insulted of course but there was something else mixed in… And for a person like you, all analysis and observation, you didn’t know what it was. And you didn’t like that at all.

You tried to reach inside your mind to find something at least a small portion similar, it was like when your favorite teacher in highschool, that one you had a crush on, that one that praised your work and made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and made you take interest in a subject you never cared for before and also made you feel not at all miserable about going to school everyday showed up with a golden ring on his left hand. But harder, mixed with the sensation you could have when someone you deeply care for spits in your face and tells you to go fuck yourself.

When Stoddard stopped in front of your building you thanked him silently and got out the car, walked to the front door, opened and got inside the building, you heard Stoddard’s car drive off and walked towards the stairs, then, like a blow of autumn wind hitting your face after drinking a warm cup of coffee, it hit you. 

Oh wait.

You liked him.

This was certainly not part of the plan.

But when that conclusion came to your mind, you didn’t fight it, you wanted to but didn’t. Because you in some way or another saw it coming. 

Not because it was a _ matter of time _ . You knew yourself. Although it was quite fast. You didn’t even notice it happen until it had already sunk into your mind and your body. But because despite how you were feeling about Javier and the whole situation in that exact moment, it felt good. Damn, it felt amazing. You wanted to slap yourself. How could you think it was something  _ good _ when he had just told you something that deeply hurt you? How could you think it was something  _ amazing _ when it wasn’t even supposed to happen?

Maybe it was because, now replaying the whole thing in your mind, he did seem regretful of what he had said, his eyes dropped to the floor immediately and he had let you talk back to him with pure venom on your mouth.

When you walked inside your shitty house you decided to embrace it.

“Fuck it” it wasn’t like you were about to act on it, hell no. He was your current boss, and you were not about the whole  _ climbing your way up by fucking superiors _ aspect of things. Not that you had something against it, you felt respect for all the women that had taken advantage of the system like that and reached their goals that way, it just wasn’t you. It wasn't part of the plan, it was not in your wishes and you already felt enough satisfaction in your current position, the thing was that you weren’t mentally prepared for someone like Javier Peña. Of course you weren’t.

If you wanted to believe the rumors about him and everything you’ve seen, read and been directly told about your boss, he was rough, rude, and distant, apparently it wasn’t that he  _ didn't’ care _ , the thing is that he wasn’t a very committed person, surely he was committed to his job, and to his quest to catch monsters on a foreign country, something you actually admired and related to, but that same commitment to his career made him unable to commit to a person. 

And you knew it’d hurt more to try to get to him than to only have your little high school girl crush in silence.

So you would embrace it, make it yours and play with it and mold it your way. You were sure you were mature enough to control yourself around him even though right at that moment you were trying to fix yourself some quick dinner while thinking about his face. How he moved his mouth whilst he talked about strategies over the phone with Feistl or Van Ness, how he scratched his clean shaven jaw when he was thinking, how his lips pouted slightly when something didn’t go his way, how his eyebrows were frowned most of the time, how his deep brown eyes looked at someone like they’d disarm them.

“Oh I  _ do _ like him” you whispered to yourself, finishing your quick dinner and putting the dish in the small sink, letting the corners of your mouth lift.

Before you could lose yourself again in the insides of your mind you heard your beeper go off. You went to take it out of your bag and checked the message, it was from him. Your smile grew wider.

“ **CALI TMW,GETREADY** ”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: canon typical violence, reader being a badass, a lot of staring and longing, READER BEING A BADASS, also spanish  
> this chapter is set in season three, episode four

What was with Colombia and its weird climates? Cali was even hotter than you expected. A wave of hot, thick air hit you when you got down the plane, Javier behind you.

“Oh, c’mon” you whined quietly, rolling up the sleeves of the dress shirt you were wearing while you walked towards the police cars that were waiting for you. 

“Told you to change” he saw you roll your eyes at the snark, taking your small bag from your hands when it nearly fell to the ground, he had told you when he picked you up hours earlier if that was what you were going to wear to a fucking raid… You glanced down at your outfit, a pair of jeans that were as comfy and flexible as you liked them, light running shoes, the same you wore for the last few raids back in México and a casual dress shirt with a tank top under.

“Doesn’t matter now” you spat, unbuttoning your shirt.

He stared at you for a few seconds when you finished and let the flaps of the shirt open to show, much to your comfort, the white tanktop you were wearing under and part of your cleavage. You looked at him, attempting to get a glance of his eyes through the tinted sunglasses and frowned when you failed.

Javier returned your bag and you grabbed it, he tried to look at the man walking towards the both of you but his eyes were too busy wandering around you and how good you looked in casual clothing, a little bit shorter due to not wearing your heeled boots like you always did, he was loving how laid back and approachable you seemed, with your hair tied up in a tight high ponytail (he fought back hard the huge craving of grab it on his hand, make a fist and pull it down) and some reckless strands of hair falling to your forehead anyway.

Colonel Martinez approached you both and shook your hand first.

“Agente Martín, mucho gusto” (nice to meet you) you said, he introduced himself again, maybe as a courtesy and you noticed he looked a bit amazed by you speaking spanish like that. You caught the glance he gave your cleavage and torso and when his eyes came back to your face you raised an eyebrow. He gulped and greeted Javier.

They started talking and discussing the plan you and him came up with on the way, it was surprisingly easy to throw ideas to him and invent something new when you wanted to work as a team. It was your time to stare at him, wearing a light blue short sleeved shirt that looked thin enough to let a breeze hit his skin, you glanced at his arms and smiled at the way the muscles were showing through his lightly tanned skin, you looked at some of the little moles and freckles that looked like they were put randomly on his arms and, shit, the way you wanted to touch them and count them was getting to your head.

You both were guided to a police truck and hoped on, he on the co-pilot’s seat and you on the back of the driver’s one. He glanced back at you when you put your seatbelt on and raised an eyebrow without saying a word. You noticed a couple of dirty green kevlar vests next to you.

You reached a poultry’s store in less than fifteen minutes and Martinez told you he had already settled everything up, Martinez got out first and started instructing his men around, Javier looked back at you again and you nodded, you unbuckle your seatbelt and crossed your small bag over one shoulder to keep it from falling. 

When you got out of the car you grabbed the smaller looking of the vests and he did the same with the other one, you walked around the truck and saw a huge refrigerated truck with chickens hanging from the metal ceiling in front of you, from one side walked to you Feistl and Van Ness, the taller one smiled at you and you gave him a smile back out of the corner of your mouth.

Javier saw it, he saw your eyes when you looked at the men and he saw how  _ happy  _ you were to see them, and even though all you did was shake their hands he felt his eyes narrow for a second.

“So you’re coming with us?” asked Feistl, quite keen to see you, you shook your head.

“I’m on chicken duty” you muttered and looked around.

Some of the police officers were glancing at you, you knew why, there were men that weren’t used to seeing a woman just casually walking amongst them, they weren’t used to seeing a woman with a smugly smile and confidence as yours, you reckoned. Not giving it much thought, you put on the vest over your opened shirt and the strap of your closed bag, Javier wanted to walk to you to try to help you strap it but you did it within five seconds while the three men’s eyes were on you. You held back a laugh, they really weren’t used to a woman putting on kevlar. One of the perks of being one of very few women in the DEA was getting to laugh at the fact that men almost always were impressed by you doing basic training shit. It was hilarious.

“What’s in the bag,” Van Ness pointed, and you lifted an eyebrow.

“What’s in the fanny pack?” you pointed back and he grinned.

“Wanna trade?” he asked, making you chuckle.

“You wouldn’t rock this one” your eyes went to your bag and then back to him, you smiled at his chuckle.

Javier was frowning at the whole interaction.

Martinez walked to the four of you again and nodded to Javier.

“Get in the car, we’re meeting with Calderón in half an hour” he ordered, the men did what he said and Javier walked towards you when the police men started to climb inside the truck “be careful” he told you “page me once it’s done” you nodded, starting to feel excited and nervous. It was your first raid in Colombia, and the first one in quite some time, your body started slightly bouncing without your consent and that made Javier let out the smallest smile he had “I know you won’t fuck it up” he spoke, putting his hands on his waist “but be careful”

“Relax, Javi” he shuddered silently, it was the first time you had called him that way “It’s not my first rodeo” he was about to open his mouth when you cut him off “I know it’s a big fish we’re catching, but you said it yourself, I’m going with the best man for the job” you tilted your head towards Martinez, Javier looked at you once again and dropped his hands to the side, he gave the colonel a quick look and you walked towards the truck, hoping inside with the help of your right hand in an agile jump.

He saw and admire the way you were moving, he wanted just to sit there and watch you walk around the streets dressed in street clothes and a kevlar vest that was definitely not your size at all instead of watch you get inside a fucking chicken truck filled with not-at-all trust worthy police men, but he had a mission, a dangerous one and he had to get that done before even thinking of you that way again, for much that he liked the train of thought his brain created around you.

You sat near the edge of the improvised bench and braced yourself to the vest when you saw him get in the driver’s seat of the truck you had arrived in and start the engine. You got to see his hands moving on the steering wheel and then the truck moved and disappeared on the street.

One of the officers was looking at you mindfully, you catched his stare and held it for a minute, he dropped it to the floor.

Martinez climbed inside the truck and sat in the middle, facing the doors of the box.

“¿Listos?” (ready?) he asked his men, all of them nodded and then the colonel looked at you. His eyes were studying you as much as yours were studying him, he gave you a smile with only his eyes and you did the same towards him. 

The truck started to move.

You started going through the plan again, it was fairly easy, a mind game, a magic trick you’d came up with almost on the spot, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but like any other magic trick, if it was executed correctly, it’d work.

“Treinta segundos” (thirty seconds) you heard through the colonel’s radio, you breathed heavily, unbothered now by the smell of the dead animals around you. You gave yourself a small pat on the shoulder and reached to your bag to grab your gun. You could do this, this was your shot, you were about to do something amazing, you got the opportunity to do it and you were taking it. Javier trusted you enough to be there, he was putting in you a heavy weight but you could lift it. It was your job. It was your  _ mission _ .

The truck stopped, two officers opened one door and jumped down the truck nimbly, you grasped your glock, pulled the lock off and heard people yell outside and then a loud:

“¡Vamos!” outside, the door opened again and you jumped down, you let the police officers walk to the house’s gate before you and Martinez knocked on the front door.

A woman opened it and you all went in, you immediately started examining the surroundings, there were expensive pieces of art in every wall, the huge tv screen was turned on, you saw out of the corners of your eyes the other officers spreading throughout the house, three women stood in the middle of the living room, screaming, you heard a loud bang somewhere inside the house.

You stayed in the living room while Martinez yelled at the three women, asking them where Gilberto Rodriguez was. 

You walked towards him and lifted your open palm, he glanced at you. You lowered your gun in front of the women and an officer behind you covered you with his rifle.

“¿Dónde está?” (where is he?) you questioned as quietly as you could, analyzing their faces. They didn’t say a thing. They didn’t need to “si cooperan con nosotros, no le haremos daño a Don Gilberto” (if you cooperate with us we won't hurt Mr Gilberto) you stated, the youngest of the three lowered her eyes and looked at the floor, she was the weakest. You looked at the older woman and she held your gaze, you lifted one eyebrow and deepened the look.

“No sabemos” (we don’t know) she murmured.

“¡Quiero este lugar patas pa’rriba!” (I want this place turned upside down) the colonel yelled, the youngest woman glanced to your right, you turned and there was a mirror, you looked at your sweaty self and then saw through the mirror the door to the main bedroom, you smirked and reached to your bag to pull out the pager.

“I’m sending the call” you announced, Martinez nodded and you were about to send Javier a page when you saw you had one message in your pager, it was from Marcos, it just read  **PACHO EN JRZ** (Pacho in Juárez) you frowned, trying to think what the hell was Pacho Herrera doing in Juárez, you imagined he had gone up there with Amado Carrillo, but left the thought aside to actually grab the satelital phone and send the page to your boss.

You wandered your way to the bedroom when you finished, gun raised in hand, watched more expensive artwork, it meant the motherfucker had a taste, not a good one but he had it. The house was relatively clean and you saw some pictures in a console table, he was a family man, that was a given, there were some with who you now knew were his  _ wives _ and some with some kids and teenagers, there was one with his brother and you took it with your free hand. 

There were officers kicking things around looking for a caleta, making a mess from the place, you tried to put all the thrown things back into the shelves inside of your mind, you reached the bedroom, bigger than your living room, you shook your head with a small grin and went for the closet. The things that weren’t on the floor were carefully put in the built in closet, almost too carefully. It didn’t look like the job of a maid, he had done that himself. He liked his personal things his way, and then you glanced at the full body mirror on a wall. For a moment you thought it was a two way mirror but the sight of a small shine of light on the reflection of the bathroom floor caught your attention.

There was a huge bathtub, almost a hot tub, embedded in a platform of what it looked like oak wood. You smiled and remembered another narco and how there was a sneaky tunnel underneath his bathtub, you remember watching the careful craftsmanship of the marble tub on a remote location of a really hot state in México and lowered your gun.

You stood there, your brain working at a hundred miles per hour, it made all the sense, it had space for one person to even lay down under and it even looked comfortable, but he had made the rookie mistake of leaving the light turned on, you guessed, that’s why you saw the reflection on the mirror. You glanced down at the picture you were still holding and took it out of the frame, dropping it on the floor, hearing the glass break and folding the photograph in half, putting it inside your bag, you felt steps behind you and Javier appeared through the door frame, with his gun in both hands.

“Hey” you greeted, he looked at you and raised an eyebrow, once again getting dangerously distracted from what was happening at the sight of you. He wanted to stay put for a minute just to take your image in but he couldn’t he just glanced twice, up and down your body and sighed softly, he couldn’t seem to get enough of you in that outfit, inside that big kevlar vest, he couldn’t seem to get enough of your stance, or the way your hands were gripping your gun, or how your cheeks were cherry red because of the heat “he’s under the tub” you whispered, pulling him out of his own mind, he tilted his head in confusion but quickly walked into the bathroom, he still made sure to look around, you raised your gun again when he kneeled on the end of the small steps leading to the wood platform and he hovered his  _ big  _ hand over the first one, he looked up at you and you nodded at him, he gripped the edge of the step and pulled up. A small hatch opened and there he was, the man of the hour, holding a gun to your boss.

“Baja el arma” (put the gun down) he had said, Javier didn’t.

“Tú baja el arma” (you put the gun down) you muttered, grasping your glock and aiming it at his head. He did it immediately.

“No disparen, soy un hombre pacífico” (don’t shoot, I’m a pacific man) he objected and started to get out.

Javier grabbed him from the arm and pulled him out.

“How d’you knew?” Javier questioned, still manhandling the short man while you walked with him out of the bathroom.

“He didn’t turn off the light inside” you explained, putting your gun down and putting the lock on again.

“Why the bathroom?” he asked again.

“I like to be clean” Gilberto muttered in a thick colombian accent, you shrugged and nodded.

“Let him change his clothes” you noted, getting out of the bedroom, Javier looked at you and wanted to call you back in but you were already walking towards the living room.

Five minutes later your boss was putting one of the Gentleman of Cali inside a chicken truck.

“So, you found him?” Feistl inquired to you, looking at Van Ness hop on the truck.

“Kinda” you answered, taking the kevlar off, he grinned at the floor and walked away.

Everyone was rushing in and out, Calderón had alerted the cartel that Gilberto had been captured and you needed to move quickly. You saw Javier extending his hand towards you, to help you get inside. You knew he knew you could get inside with ease, yet you still took it and used him as support to get in. His hand grasping yours. His touch was warm and his hand was surprisingly softer than you had expected. He pulled you down softly before you could stand completely.

“Good job” he said, letting go of your hand. You nodded to him once and stood to sit next to Van Ness, in front of the capo.

You saw the door closing and soon the truck was moving again. 

Aside from the sound of the truck racing through the city, the silence inside the box was thick and heavy, but you were an expert in swallowing those kinds of auras and you leaned in, crossed your arms on your chest and looked at Gilberto Rodriguez. He was calmer than you wanted him to be, but also scared. He had been just taken out of his home, he was being forced into a filthy truck with ten sweaty police officers and two DEA agents, he looked at Van Ness next to you and pointed at his shirt, you saw your partner look down at his own shirt, missing the top button. You grinned. He was hating the filthiness of it all, and you loved that he was.

He looked at you and narrowed his eyes, you held his gaze. He smiled softly, was he really giving you a fatherly smile? It wasn’t condescending, it wasn’t lascivious, it wasn’t surprised. It was a warm smile that made you feel really uncomfortable.

The truck stopped suddenly and you broke eye contact with the man. Van Ness raised his radio and asked Javier what was happening.

Apparently there were some officers in the landing track, bad ones.

You sat there, somehow waiting for the blow to come, waiting to hear shots being fired or yelling. But there was nothing. Just the voice of your boss telling you to get out of the box.

The door opened and you went out first, Javier was there, he lended out his hand for you and you took it again, grasping it unconsciously, you hopped down and walked a few steps before letting go of his hand, he didn’t look at you and you moved to the side to let Van Ness hand the narco to him. They grabbed him, each by one arm, and started walking to the small plane you had arrived in, walking behind them.

“Good job, Martín” Van Ness had congratulated you in a mutter when he walked past you after leaving Javier alone with Gilberto, you turned to see him and gave him a wink.

Martinez and Javier let you board the plane first, and you sat on the back, watching them get Gilberto inside, the man looked at you again while Javier and the colonel got settled and smiled at you again. This time you wanted to spit at his face.

Javier saw the way you were looking at the man, in clear disgust, he then turned to see him and noticed his smug expression and his horrid smile. Javier made the motion to help him with the seat belt and at the same time dropped a lazy fist on his gut, making him break contact with you while trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry” Javier muttered.

You breathed heavily and your boss glanced back at you, meeting your gaze. You tried to thank him for that, and for letting you be in the operative, you really tried but you weren’t sure if he had seen it.

He had seen it, and the way your eyes were meeting his, he felt something inside of him turn again when you gave him a quick small smile. And he chewed inside of his mouth to stop the corners of his mouth from lifting.

_ Adorable _ , he thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: more spanish lmao but not so much, FEELS and the short appearance of a certain agent that we all wanted to be at the beginning of third season  
> This chapter is set in season three, episode four.

The flight back to Bogotá felt a lot quicker. You felt Gilberto’s gaze on your body the whole trip and you did your best to ignore it and to not let him know it was affecting you.

The plane landed, and you saw a bunch of reporters outside. You undid the buckle of the seatbelt and waited for everyone to get out.

Colonel Martinez went first and addressed the crowd of reporters. You looked at Gilberto, looking at Javier.

“Felicitaciones, ustedes saben que esto no va a durar mucho” (congratulations, you know this won’t last long) he murmured, looking then at you and back at Javier “tu y tu novia están jodiendo con cosas mucho más grandes que ustedes” (you and your girlfriend are fucking with things so much bigger than you two) you felt your jaw clench at the mention of you as something of his instead of another agent and hardened your look at him.

“Sonríe, Gilberto, vas a salir en televisión” (smile, Gilberto, you’re gonna be on tv) Javier snarled at him, unbuckling the seat belt and pulling him up the seat. You sighed, was it really the first time you had heard him speaking in spanish? you were sure it wasn’t, but it certainly felt like so… The way he pronounced the words made your mouth wish to curl upwards on a smile, but you didn’t let it.

They got out, and you waited inside for the small mob of reporters to follow them before heading out yourself.

“Where are we going now?” you asked him, getting inside of his SUV.

“Back to work” he said, softly, taking off his sunglasses.

The ride back to the embassy felt immensely lighter. Your mood around him had changed, and you felt that his mood around you did as well. You looked out the window, the Bogotanian sun was starting to set, and the sky was turning a warm orange color on the side. It looked breathtaking.

“You ok?” he asked, taking a quick glance at you before looking back at the road. You turned to see him and nodded.

“I’m great” you told him, smiling.

He watched you smile at him. Was it really the first time he had seen you smile like that? a satisfied smile, a relaxed one, he was sure it was, and he tried to take the sight of you smiling at him and engrave it in his brain. You saw his face soften up a bit and narrowed your eyes to read him. You were sure he was feeling it, and he was letting you.

You both arrived at the embassy and walked slowly towards the office.

“Ah, shit” he let out, you looked at him.

“What?”

“I gotta go see the ambassador,” he growled. You looked at him, pitying him.

“And that’s bad why?” you questioned, not really worrying about it so much, but he really looked pained to go see his boss.

“He’s gonna be pissed” he explained. You blinked at him, waiting for him to say something else. If you were another person and that was another time and he was feeling another kind of emotions, he was sure he wouldn’t tell you anything, but it was you and it was there and he was feeling a lot, so he spoke “we weren’t supposed to make any arrests, you know that” you nodded, still walking next to him, you had taken the stairs to stall on your arrival to the office “this is gonna start something” he announced, stopping for a bit to look at you.

“It’s about to get ugly, isn’t it?” you asked. He was trying to keep his hand from reaching yours, he nodded at you and resumed his walk, you let him walk in front of you because you knew what was coming. And it did, as soon as he stepped into the DEA office everybody applauded him. He looked around, uncomfortable at the attention, and turned to look at you, you shrugged. He didn’t want the applause, not when he wasn’t the only one that worked to get the operative done.

Stoddard came to greet him and shook his hand, he had a bottle of whiskey on his free hand and your mouth watered. Had been that long, huh?

The guy told your boss that everyone wanted to toast him, you saw Javier sprinting to the hall and tell him to start without him. You walked to Stoddard, catching his attention.

“Hey, congrats to you too” he said, giving you his hand to shake it.

“Thanks” you replied, walking to your desk and crashing on the chair, he followed you.

“Where did he go?” he asked you, you shrugged again.

“Don’t know” you lied, he stood up in front of you “are you gonna open that bottle or do you want me to do it for you?” he smiled at you and lifted the bottle to twist the cap open, you opened one of the drawers in your desk and took out your coffee mug that rested there without closing back the drawer, he poured in less than half the cup and walked away to serve the other agents.

You allowed yourself to breathe fully for the first time since that morning, your muscles were starting to get sore due to the tension they had felt the whole day. 

Your hand reached to close the drawer when you saw a small card on top of your notepad, you took it with two fingers and it had a sloppy handwriting  _ need you at my office asap. _ You glanced at both sides before ripping the card in half two times and tossing it on your trashcan.

You stretched in your chair and looked inside the mug, getting lost in the ambar liquid moving around the ceramic.

The first thing that came to your mind was him. Again. You had to start charging him for all the hours he was spending inside your head.

You brought back the sensory memory of his hand in yours, wondering how it would feel if he touched your cheek, or your shoulder, or your waist, or your hip. He had a tight grip, you knew he was strong, and it was a fact that he was rough. You drifted back to Javier pulling around Gilberto Rodriguez almost like a ragdoll and smiled at the thought of him manhandling you like that in another scenario and another context. A huge sigh came out of you and a small tap on the desk woke you from your daydream. You looked up and a slim brunette agent was standing in front of you.

“Hey” you said, she smiled at you, you sipped at the liquor in your mug

“Sorry to bother you, can I ask you something?” she wondered, you nodded, looking at her attentively “how’s Agent Peña in the field?” she muttered, leaning on the desk to be closer to you so only you could hear her question. You didn’t move a muscle, not in your body nor in your face. She had rosy cheeks and was biting her lips in nervousness and anxiety. Had she been drinking more than allowed in the office? Possibly. Why did she want to know about Javier out of the office? 

“Why?” this time you didn’t want to stay in doubt, she looked down.

“I’ve never actually seen him in action, y’know?” she commented, looking back at you, her eyes were lighting up and moved a little to her right, like she was recalling something, and from the way her eyebrows lifted ever so slightly, it was something good “and you have” she pointed at you with a thin, long finger and looked at you in something that appeared as admiration. You were sitting lazily in your jeans and your shirt was still open, hanging from your sides, the tanktop you were wearing had some stains and she still looked at you like you were some kind of personal hero, ironic, you thought. Your eyes roamed through her body, she dressed like every other federal functionary in the embassy, dress colored pants, a long blazer that embraced her waist… Her hair was gorgeous, long, brown with dashes of copper and wavy, and she was really pretty as well, her jaw was slim, her eyes were dovy but not innocent, her lips were full and pink colored. She was a dream of a woman, and she was standing there, looking at you, asking about your boss and his ways on an operative.

Then it hit you.

Oh.

It hit you hard.

“He’s the same old Peña” you heard yourself say in a rougher tone you’d wanted “nothing different” she stood up straight, forming an o with her lips “just the same grumpy old man but without the suit” you put your mug on the desk a little too harshly and stood up from the chair. She didn’t say a word about it anymore and you opened your drawer again to reach for the small cigarette pack that you had stored, but it was empty “excuse me” you muttered, walking around the desk and her, she didn’t turn to see where were you going, she just stood there, confused at the sudden change of your tone and attitude.

You walked slowly to the office door, just wanting to go outside, away.

You were a grown ass woman, why were you jealous about a gir– a woman that most probably got fucked by the man you liked? There was that reason, but he wasn’t anything to you, he owed you nothing and both had the liberty to fuck around with whoever they wanted. She was beautiful and you saw the appeal on her, he was a free man and if the rumors you had heard were true, he had wanted to have sex with her as soon as he saw her, and it was fine, it was completely normal… It was not a big deal, it was not a big deal, it felt like a big deal, but it was just your silly high school crush talking and feeling for you. It was nothing.

You were still in the hallway just standing by the side with your back to the wall when you saw him get out of the elevator, he was about to sprint to his office when he looked at you.

“How did it go?” you asked before he could say something, trying to sound as casual as possible, he sighed and shook his head.

“Horribly” he snorted, you wrinkled your nose swiftly, making him chuckle, he stood in front of you, not too far but achingly close, watching you do nothing but existing in the same space as he was “I have to change, can you get my car to the front?” he asked, it wasn’t in a demanding tone, he was genuinely asking, you nodded and he reached for his keys in his front pocket of his  _ tight  _ jeans.

“Are you really letting me drive your truck?” you asked, taking the keys out of his hand half concerned, half teasing, he raised an eyebrow.

“It’s your turn to be my chauffeur” he responded, taking away a grin from your lips “I’ll be there in ten” he said, resuming his way to his office. You followed him with your eyes and sighed, then felt a stare in your body and looked for it, the same woman that had asked you about Javier (the one he might or might not had have sex with, you recalled) was staring deeply at you. You didn’t want to find out why, so you turned around and caught the elevator when it was still open to go to the lobby.

Eleven minutes later a suited up Javier was sitting in the co-pilot’s seat of his own car, he noticed how you had pulled the driver’s seat to the front to reach the pedals but he didn’t say a thing.

“We’re going to Casa de Nariño” he said, putting on his seatbelt, you frowned.

“Well shit we really are in trouble aren’t we?” he looked at you and nodded, you drove out of the embassy and to the avenue, and he began giving you directions to the presidential residence. You drove silently, only the sound of his voice telling you where to turn, you felt nervous and he took notice of it by the way you were grasping the steering wheel.

“I don’t think it’ll take too long” he commented when you parked outside of the huge presidential building “you wanna wait here while I come back?” he questioned, you took a second after turning the engine off to look at him, he was oddly relaxed, you felt your chest swell with the thought of him relaxing when he was near you. 

“Yeah, I think’s better” you said, eyeing his mouth as its right corner raised up “good luck with your presidential scold” you joked, he chuckled under his breath and got out of the car. You watched him with more attention as he walked to the entrance of the building, and once he disappeared through the doors you allowed your head to hit the headrest.

Only there you realized you were indeed tired as hell. And wanted nothing else than a warm shower and to go to bed.

Your gaze hopped around on the darkened sky and the still transited street until your eyes drifted back and without even realizing you fell asleep.

A honk going off woke you up, making you sit straight, startled, you were still alone, you checked your watch, it’d been less than fifteen minutes since you fell asleep, you looked around again and saw Javier already walking towards the car, you noticed how the common stiffness came back to his body and felt sympathy for him, it must had been one hell of a meeting.

You turned on the ignition as he opened the door and got settled next to you. He closed the door and leaned in to turn off the car.

“You’re ok?” you asked, looking at him. You wanted to ask how the meeting had gone but your mouth had different plans, he reached for something in the pocket of his jacket and handed you a small, balled up piece of paper “what’s this?” you took it and opened it, there was an angry scribble, all caps, you read it outloud “you bought it, you broke it” you decided to omit the last word writing  _ asshole,  _ for no consequential reason but that you didn't want to call him that yourself… again “who sent you this?” you asked, raising the paper in your right hand.

“No idea,” he replied, not looking at you, you watched him fiddle his thumb in his lower lip, he knew, he just didn’t want to tell you. Why did he show you the thing if he didn’t want you to know who sent it then? Did he want you to find out by yourself? You glanced down to the small scrap of paper and tried to read the strokes of the letters with the help of the warm mercurial light entering from the street, you recognized the handwriting and your stomach turned slightly, he looked at you, trying to squint your eyes just enough to catch something about the person that wrote it, he knew you’d try to do that “Stechner,” he muttered, “I’m not sure but I suspect it was him.” you let out a quiet hum at him and ran in your head the idea of the CIA chief in the country actually going out of his way to find a pen and a piece of paper to write a cheap ass threat and slide it to the adjacent DEA agent, if it were hypothetical you would had laughed, instead you took the paper in both hands and ripped it in half twice, just like you did with the one on your desk.

“Fuck that guy” you whispered, looking up to catch his eyes with yours, a comfortable silence grew inside the suv “you look like you could use a drink” he didn’t take his eyes out of yours.

“I still have to give a press conference in a few minutes” he murmured, you wrinkled your nose again in disgust and he smiled at you. To you.

He had a dimple, apparently, and the sight of it and the small wrinkles on the corners of his eyes made something in your chest jump. Shit.

“Still wanna wait here?” he questioned, still holding your look “this one might take longer” his voice sounded like a whisper in the wind, his words felt warm and from the way he was looking at you you could actually decipher that he wanted you there.

“No, I’ll go with you” you responded, he didn’t move.

Something was happening. You could feel it. But you couldn’t figure what it was.

His gaze was in yours and you felt like he could read you instead of the other way around. He didn’t have a blank expression but his face was almost unreadable to you.

Javier was taking as much of your eyes as he could, the street lights outside only illuminated so much inside the car but just enough for him to learn the way your lids opened and closed, the way your lashes fell, the color near the iris, the way they moved while you were trying to read him. He was sure that he could stay looking at your eyes for the rest of his life, he wanted to keep looking at your eyes for the rest of his life, more after your eyes told him something he was sure you would never tell him. Something that made him sort of lose his shit on the inside. He forced himself to break the contact after realizing he still had things to do.

“Let’s go” he glanced down to your hands and saw the pieces of paper you were still holding “give me that” he grabbed your hand by the back of it and took them out of it, you shivered at his touch, still in disbelief at the softness of his skin. You turned your hand on his so you could touch his palm with yours and he… He just interlocked his fingers in yours.

Oh.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: SO MUCH FEELINGS and smoking and drinking and yes
> 
> A/N: This chapter is set in season three, episode four.

After watching him answering reporter’s questions for almost an hour and a half, you were driving back to the embassy. Neither of you really addressed what happened before the press conference. But you felt there was no need to. 

The silence that filled the suv was comfortable, he was smoking with the windows open.

“Can you give me a smoke?” you broke the silence when a red light made you stop, without saying a word he extended his arm and put the one he had between his thumb and index finger in front of your face. You closed your eyes for a second, not actually believing he was making that gesture like it was nothing, you grabbed the half-smoked cigarette from his hand and gave it a long puff. You took it between your index and your middle finger and gave it back to him when the light turned green. Feeling your chest full of smoke, nicotine and… something else you didn’t want to name yet.

You arrived at the office, walking together in silence, feeling your hands brushing against the other. You crossed your arms on an impulse when you saw Stoddard sitting at his desk. 

“You still here” you obviated, the guy looked up to see you, Javier walked past the both of you to his office.

“Yeah, I was waiting for the boss” he shrugged.

“Nerd” you scoffed, making him laugh under his breath.

“Something came for you” he pointed at your desk, there was a yellow envelope with  _ Agent Martín _ scribbled on a small calligraphy at the bottom corner of it on top of some files you still had to put away, you walked to grab them and immediately knew what it was just by the feel of the contents inside.

“Just this?” you asked him, walking towards your boss’s office, Stoddard nodded. You walked in and Javier looked at you sitting in the loveseat he had inside his office, he had a glass of whiskey on his hand “bussy?” he shook his head, you handed him the envelope “the tapes from Jurado’s wife’s phone” he grabbed it with raised eyebrows and stood up, handed you his glass of liquor and walked to open the envelope on his desk, he emptied it and there was just four cassette tapes and a few passport photocopies, he looked at you in question “that’s everything they sent me” you shrugged, just standing in the middle of his office, looking down at the glass. You took a sip and gestured at the burning sensation, he was looking at you the entire time and just gulped at the sight of you being so damn shameless, just straight up drinking out of someone else's drink like it was nothing, he watched you lick your lips “this’s good” you raised the glass and he just nodded in amused agreement. 

A few knocks on the glass door interrupted your little moment with his glass and his little moment with you, it was Colonel Martinez.

“Coronel, por favor” (Colonel, please) Javier said, inviting the man in, the colonel nodded at you and you did the same back at him.

“I’ll leave you alone” you left the whiskey glass on the small tray behind you and left the office so they could talk.

You walked to your desk to gather your stuff in case there was nothing else to do after Javier’s visit left and found more pictures of Pacho Herrera in your desk, you figured Marcos had fax them to the office when you were gone, this time there was some of Amado Carrillo, and you knew it was just Marcos fucking with you and scoffing at how much you hated that man.

Your desk phone rang, you quickly picked up the receiver and the voice on the other line spoke without waiting for you to greet.

“I can’t go right now” you whispered “I’ll try to find time within the week”.

You lifted your eyes when you saw Colonel Martinez walking out of Javier’s office.

“Nos vemos, Coronel” (see you, colonel) you hung up the phone and he looked at you briefly, he seemed disgruntled.

“Adiós, Florencia” you frowned in surprise at his mention of the actual first name instead of the usual, he just walked to the exit and disappeared through the hall.

“The Jurado tapes” Javier came out of the office, his usual frown back in his forehead.

Stoddard jumped a bit at the harsh tone of his boss.

“We probably shouldn’t hold that, ‘cause they’re not legal, per se” he mumbled, you rolled your eyes.

“I want all of them” Javier cut him off. He looked at you and you tilted your head, confused at his sudden change “let’s go” he said, you nodded. Walking to get out of the office, he stopped for a bit to look at the board where you had the pictures of the Cali cartel’s heads, he noticed the picture of Gilberto and Miguel pinned on the top corner you had put up there earlier, he took a red marker and drew a big X on Gilberto Rodriguez’s face. You smiled cockily at him but he seemed to ignore it.

“You’re ok?” you questioned when you hopped on his suv, this time back on the co-pilot’s seat, looking at him pushing back the driver’s seat.

“The colonel just resigned” he let out, turning the car on, you frowned “he came all the way here to tell me”

“What the fuck?” you spat “why?”

“His name came out in a list of dirty cops paid by the cartel,” he murmured, maneuvering the steering wheel to get out of the embassy’s parking lot. You put one hand over your mouth to hide the gasp that came out of your mouth involuntarily.

“That’s bullshit” you blurted, your hand still over your mouth, Javier didn’t say a word, he just drove.

You felt angry about the situation, this wasn't going according to the plan, and quoting Javier, Colonel Martinez was one of the few clean cops left in the country, and now he had been forced to resign because he did the right thing. It was infuriating. 

You knew Colombia wouldn’t be easier than México, you weren’t expecting it to, but somehow, right there, it did feel more frustrating. Because back in México it was clear who was being paid by the cartels, they fucking showed it off. But down there? No one knew a thing until it was too late. And now your job was completely different from the one you had to do before. Now who was going to be your contact with the National Police? you wondered.

A few minutes after a silence had grown you broke it when a traffic light on red made him stop, realizing something unsettling.

“So we’re alone?” he turned to see you, you were worried and it was obvious, he just looked at you “Javi,” you blinked at him a few times, feeling an unfamiliar sting inside your stomach “are we?”

He made a turn in the street where your building was.

“Isolated” he corrected. The word didn’t sound any better. He parked the car in the front of the building and turned off the ignition.

“Shit,” a sigh came out of you “I need a drink” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your knuckles.

“You got anything up there?” he pointed at the building and you snorted.

“Water and orange juice” you rolled your eyes.

“Well then” he started the car again “I’ve got something strong enough” he started driving again, you didn’t say anything. It was nothing, wasn’t it?, he pulled over at another building that looked almost exactly as yours and turned off the car “let’s go” he got out and you did the same, just following him while he opened the front door and then guided you to the second floor “my former partner used to live upthere” he pointed at the ceiling out of nowhere while juggling with the keys in his other hand, was he making small talk? he walked towards a deep brown door and used the keys to open it “after you” he let you in and you suppressed another snort.

His apartment was definitely different from your expectations (not that you actually had many), it was bigger than yours, of course, and for a single man that you knew spent way too much time working it looked tidy, oddly cozy and lived in. You liked the colors of the walls and the few artworks that were hung on them, next to the entrance was a sort of reading nook and through it a closed door to what you assumed was the bedroom, the only thing that you had that was better than his was the kitchen, apparently, you really liked the way the living room was accessed by a small set of stairs. There was a love seat and a couch, and they were all leather and an end table separated them, behind the love seat he had a small wooden bar,  _ appropriate _ , you thought, next to the loveseat there was a small console and a record player, you took the first vinyl of a small pile and smiled, it was  _ A night at the opera _ , he really had a nearly twenty year old Queen’s album just randomly laying around, in front of the console was the coffee table, it was double the size of yours and was littered with cigarette buts, files and random pieces of paper, you noticed a yellow notepad below some pictures, and walked towards the coffee to grab it.

“Sit” you heard from behind, you looked at him, he was grabbing two small glasses from the bar next to the window, you took a few steps to the leather couch and sat, it was way more comfortable than it looked and the aching muscles of your legs and your lower back felt better just by the touch of the cushions. You sighed and closed your eyes for a second. You had already forgotten how tired rides can make your body “here” you heard again, he was handing you a glass of whiskey _with ice_ , you put the notepad on your lap and took the glass and saw him put his on the coffee table, his drink was dry. 

“Thanks” you whispered, he stood there, between the loveseat and the coffee table, taking off his tie, pulling his things out of all the pockets on his outfit and putting them on the table as well, littering it even more, cigarettes and lighter out of the pocket inside his jacket, badge out of the left pocket of his dress pants, wallet out of the back pocket and gun out of the waistband. He took his jacket off and put it on the backrest, you leaned into the coffee table to grab his pack of cigarettes when he was sitting and rolling up his sleeves, opened it with a flick of your thumb and used your index and middle fingers to pull up one halfway out of the pack, you brought it to your mouth and put the cigarette between your lips. He was staring at you the whole time, his arms were bracing the backrest of the two seater and he had crossed one leg over the other, his eyes following your movements whilst you put back the pack on the table and grabbed the lighter. He liked that you didn’t ask permission to do things around him, somehow taking some control away from him, he liked the way you didn’t have to use both hands to get yourself a breath of nicotine, you brought the flame to the tip of the cigarette and he saw you take a drag out of it twice before turning off the lighter. Finally with some bitter, smoky taste on your mouth and nose, you turned to him. “How did you know I drink whiskey with ice?” you murmured, bringing the glass to your lips and sipping.

“You seem like the type of person that likes the taste but not the burn” he grinned, remembering the face you made just less than an hour earlier in his office when you sipped from his drink, you shook your head with a smile on your mouth. The comfortable silence dropped down and you gazed down at your lap, the notepad still there. It had some words too rushed to be read, a few scrawls around and then a bunch of questions scribbled going in different ways, all about the cartel, some other things were scratched and some just underlined.

“This is how your brain thinks?” you lifted the notepad with the same hand you were holding your cigarette, looking at him, he was lighting his own, he glanced up at it and nodded.

“Yeah, basically,” he drew out smoke “a fucking mess” 

“Not really” you cut him off “I find it interesting” the notepad returned to your lap but you eyes stayed on his “most intriguing” 

“I find you intriguing” he murmured, you felt a shiver going down your spine.

“Oh, really?” you shifted in your seat, crossing a leg over the other just like him, he grinned and drank off his glass without taking his eyes away from yours “I don’t believe you” you argued, dragging from the cigarette in your hand, he frowned, confused and amused at the same time “make me believe you” the way you said that last sentence while smoke came out of your mouth as you breathed out made something in his chest  _ ache _ , holy shit how he liked you.

“I don’t know a single thing about you apart from your name” he shrugged after a minute of silence, making you smile “the small amount of things I know I’ve learnt them directly from you” you tilted your head, deepening your stare into his. 

“And you don’t like that” you assured, he shook his head.

“Of course I don’t” he muttered in fake disdain “my job is knowing” 

“And what do you wanna know?” you questioned him teasingly, noticing how one of his eyebrows itched to raise.

Javier knew you were reading him, he was counting on it, he wanted you to figure out that he wanted to know everything about you, from the dumbest thing to your darkest secret and your most deep desire. And you were, his face was like an open book, ready for your eyes to enjoy, and the feeling of power that gave you was invigorating, at the same time that you felt a deep ache because you knew you couldn’t tell him what he wanted to know. Not without risking  _ everything _ you had. For a second he wanted to laugh, it had been a long time since he wanted to know such things about another person, it had been way too long since he was craving someone's mind over their body. He wanted to know everything there was to be known about you, and in that moment he also wanted to be like you and be able to read the fuck out of how you were looking at him, because he was loving it.

“What do you like?” he inquired, thinking of starting with the basics. He saw you downing your drink, put the empty glass on the table and without a pause you breathed out.

“You”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set after season three episode four

You realized what you had said once Javier slid from the loveseat to sit next to you on the couch. You didn’t know how fast his brain had worked up the courage to do it; he had almost thrown himself at you when he heard the word slip out of your lips; he wanted to grab you and…  _ embrace you _ .

“Javi–” you took out your eyes off his.

“Say that again” he cut you off, trying to chase your gaze, he wanted you to look at him and confirm what you said or he heard, to make sure he hadn’t imagined anything he wanted to happen, he wanted you to look at him and tell him you felt the same way as him. He was feeling so childish, Javier could hear his heartbeat inside his ears and somehow he was letting himself enjoy the feeling of warmth your words had caused his body to produce.

You didn’t have the nerve to raise your eyes to meet his questioning gaze; you felt embarrassed. A few days ago you were just accepting you liked him under all the circumstances of your new job, and you had an agreement with yourself that you would keep your mouth shut about it. Because even though you were free to look at him, study him, talk to him and think of him, it wasn’t right of you to make a move; it wasn’t allowed for either one of you to act on it. You weren't allowed to act on it.

“I– I don’t know why I said that,” you mumbled under your breath, trying and failing to ignore the way he was looking at you, or the way he was slowly putting down his drink on the table in front of you without taking his eyes out of you “I– I should go” you stood up, the notepad that was resting on your lap fell to the floor, you tried to shake off the feeling of deep and utter embarrassment and angriness you felt sinking in your chest while you started walking away from the couch and him. He grabbed you by the wrist to stop you from taking another step. His hold wasn’t at all strong, it was more like a brush of his hand on the skin of your wrist. He stood up.

“Don’t go,” he whispered, it sounded like a plea “I don’t want you to go” You looked at him and shook your head.

“This is not appropriate” your voice suddenly gone, it sounded like a muffled whisper, he tightened the grip on your wrist and his lips twitched in a small smile.

“Say it again,” he asked, taking a step closer to you, still holding your wrist on his warm hand, you wanted to run away, you could read in his eyes what he wanted to do, you were expecting for a second to find his eyes filled with hunger but they were surprised and bewildered and deeply behind those two emotions there was something that screamed like scare, yet he still was getting dangerously close to you, much to your distress, you felt confusion along with your embarrassment because in that moment, Javier’s face was unreadable and you didn’t like that “please,” he took your other wrist with his free hand and held them between your bodies “ _ who _ do you like?”

You felt a thrill rush through your body when he whispered the question, he had changed the word because he knew your answer. He just wanted to hear it slipping out of your lips again.

Your brain was foggy, the air felt thick; it had been filled with your nervousness and new found expectation and his anticipation. You felt like a teenager and you weren’t sure how to go about that. For a millisecond you tried to clear your thoughts to actually think what would happen now. 

Javier Peña was there, standing in front of you, in all his stiff glory, holding you achingly close to his chest, waiting for you to confirm what he already knew. A sudden and stupid question rose in your mind  _ how did he know?  _ He was as observant as you were, and you weren’t exactly discrete about the whole deal. Of course he had known, he said it, knowing was his job.

But if you confirmed that you felt for him, even though you didn’t exactly have a name for what it was, a whole lot of things were about to change. There were bridges about to be burnt to ashes, there were schemes about to be blown away, there were expectations about to be unmet, there were things at risk of getting lost, there was so much that could slip through your fingers. It was like standing on the edge of a cliff and actually considering jumping when you were well aware that it would only hurt and not kill you.

You weren’t ready to have your heart broken by his hand. You weren’t ready to have to break his heart.

It would help your  _ mission _ , it surely would, but you didn’t want to do it, you didn’t have to do it that way.

Yet he was there, standing in front of you, trying to get you to look at him, trying to get you to  _ be _ with him. Fuck you wanted him more that you had realized.

This wasn’t going to end well.

Javier knew what he was asking, and he knew about the uncertainty of it all. The context of the situation he had found himself was still roaming in the back of his mind, he wasn’t forgetting who he was,  _ what he was _ ,  _ what he had done _ , and that you knew that as well, he wasn’t forgetting where you two were standing or how this whole ordeal would change literally everything around the both of you, it would shatter a lot of things, but in that moment, having you so close to him, closer than you’ve ever been, he was willing to omit the details. He was somehow, very surprisingly, most to himself, willing to give to you things he had forgotten he had in him, things he hadn’t given to anyone else. And he wanted to know if you would too, if you would  _ risk _ for him as he would for you.

“You” you replied under your breath. There was no way back.

Javier pulled you softly to him and you saw his jaw unclench as he relaxed, he leaned in to you; the closeness made you lids fall down while you felt the gentle brush of his mustache when he pressed his lips to yours.

You had just rushed and jumped off the cliff, and the thrill of the fall was so exciting that made you forget the given fact that you had to land. And the crash was going to be ugly, messy, bloody, heart wrenching. You knew that, and it ached deeply inside your chest that he didn’t.

The kiss was ashtonizingly smooth, it was just tender meat moving slowly on your mouth, there was no wet appetite, no rushed eagerness, no swift movements, yet there was hunger, there was craving.

Javier’s hand let go of one of your wrists to cup your cheek, you leaned into his touch as he opened his mouth to take your lower lip between his. Shivering at the feeling of his warm and smoky breath hitting you.

You were right when you stated you weren’t ready for Javier Peña. But this kiss just made you realize you were worried for completely different reasons. Because you had been told before that he was distant, rude, rough, you’ve read files and you’ve heard out of hallway rumors that he was uncaring and cold and right there he showed you that in reality, you weren’t ready for him to be so tender; you weren’t ready for his touch to be so delicate; you weren’t ready for the way his thumb was drawing subtle circles on the skin of your cheek. You weren’t ready for the way your chest jumped and swell and you felt your eyes water because of how good his lips felt and how much you were feeling and how bad you felt because  _ fuck _ ; he was clueless.

This wasn’t right.

This is not how you were told he does things.

This is not what you came down here for.

“No–” you mumbled, opening your eyes, his lips still in yours, his eyes were closed “wait– stop” he immediately pulled away and opened his eyes, not helping your mind to ease.

“I’m sorry,” he rushed to say, letting go of your wrist and your face “I’m sorry, I made you uncomfortable.” his statement just made your chest swell even more, fuck.

“No,” you shook your head “I’m sorry, I should leave” you muttered, not moving an inch, slapping yourself mentally because deeply you wanted to stay, you wanted him to tell you to stay.

“You sure?” Javi asked, you didn’t say anything, he looked like he wanted to say something else, like he was cutting himself short in his words.

You knew he wasn’t good with them; it was easy to point out. So you stayed put, waiting for him to say what he was thinking.

Javier wanted you to stay, he wanted to have your presence around because of two reasons that complemented each other; he really liked your company, and you had just confirmed to him that you felt something for him. And for some unknown reason that he had yet to discover, he didn’t want to let you go.

He gulped when you shifted from one foot to the other, waiting for him to say something.

“Stay” he whispered, leaning closer to your face. You breathed in his whisper that tasted like whiskey, nicotine and  _ him _ .

“I– I don’t think it’s right,” you uttered, he nodded knowingly. Javier raised his hand to hold your chin up, meeting your gaze, his brown eyes deepened into yours, cutting your breath for a second. He saw the slight note of insecurity in your eyes, he saw you struggling inside your mind, he wanted to ask you to open up to him, to tell him what you were thinking, what was invading your head that made you look that insecure, that out-of-character.

“I want you to stay” he said before he could stop himself, moving his hand to cup your cheek again, fisting the other hand, trying to fight the need to put it on your waist, you felt your legs weaken by his touch. You wanted to run away from him and make him touch you more at the same time.

“Why?” the word came out in a breath. He was intoxicatingly close to you. It felt like torture.

He tilted his head, not understanding the question. He opened his mouth to try to answer it but no word came out of it. He hated when he didn’t know what to say, or how to say it.

Javier looked around your face, trying to find something that told him you didn’t really want to be there, but the only thing he could see was you, your features, and his mind went mildly numb at the view of your beauty. He gave in to the magnetic pull you seemed to have over him and leaned in closer to press his lips to yours again, but he met your cheek when you turned your head to the side.

Oh.  _ That's _ why.

“We’re not gonna do anything you don’t wanna do,” he whispered on your cheek, giving you there a small peck “but please don’t leave yet”

You turned to face him. Were you being that obvious, or he just suddenly needed to tell you that? You frowned slightly.

“Why?” you questioned again, you voice sounded just a small bit rougher.

“I like your company,” he smiled softly at you “I like you.”

That man would be the death of you.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set after season three episode four

Not even ten minutes later you were sitting again on the leather couch, with another drink in hand, sharing a cigarette with Javier, who was sitting next to you, his thigh brushing yours, his arm bracing the backrest behind you and staring at you whilst you were babbling about the first raid you’d been in as a field agent after years of being trapped behind a desk back in the states.

“It was disgusting,” you chuckled, taking the cigarette of his hand and drawing from it “so much for a first fucking experience” you exclaimed, turning to see him, he smiled at you and you shuddered at how fast you were growing fond of his smile.

“And when did they send you to México?” he asked you, causing you to raise your eyebrows.

“About two years later,” you replied, shifting in your seat to get a better view of him “ninety one”

“You asked to be assigned?” he questioned, taking back the cigarette from your fingers.

“Oh hell no,” he chuckled at your tone “it was a fucking punishment,” you sassed, he tilted his head, wanting you to elaborate “let me quote the chief’s words,” you sat straight and cleared your throat “my morals were way too ambiguous for a person my age,” you blinked, Javier frowned.

“Morally ambiguous, wonder where have I heard that,” he mumbled snarkily, making you smile “what’d you do?”

“Let’s just say I tried to justify my shitty means with the main end,” you explained, Javier nodded, relating to it more than he would have liked “and so the reprimand was to send me to a narco country that had just been broken in several pieces and distributed to different people,” he saw you rolling your eyes “a fucking nightmare if I’m honest”

“And why’d they send you here?” he asked. You let out a rough laugh that made Javier smile as well “the same?” he sounded amused.

“Yeah, but not really,” you left your eyes wander around and were about to tell him that all the information he wanted to know was supposed to be in your file when you remembered he told you there was no file “so they really gave you a redacted file?” you asked him in disbelief, wondering if  _ they _ would actually be  _ that _ obvious, he looked at you, he wanted to ask you to elaborate on why you were sent to Colombia, but as you quickly changed the subject, he knew it was something you didn’t want discussed, he finished his drink and leaned to the coffee table to put down his glass, as he stretched, his arm fell from the backrest of the couch to one of your shoulders.

“No, they gave me an empty file,” he clarified “just a page with your basics” you grinned in disbelief.

“That’s how bad they wanted to get rid of me,” you chuckled an excuse, you wondered why  _ they _ had been so anxious about him, why they had rushed to send you down to Colombia and put you on his team, you hated not knowing, “fucking DEA” you scoffed, dragging a laugh out of him. It sounded guttural and real, a bit manly, and it was quickly becoming one of the best sounds you’ve ever heard.

“I thought you never laughed” you teased. He shook his head.

“Not how I used to” he finished the cigarette and pushed it against the ashtray in his lap “only with people I like” he looked at you, the faint smile on his lips made you want to kiss him again. 

“So you must really like me, huh?” you let out without giving much of a thought, you intended it to sound teasing again, but it came out of your mouth like half an assumption and half an affirmation.

“I do” the sudden confirmation made you shiver.

“Javi–”

“And you like me too” he cut you off, you shook your head. The air didn’t thicken like you thought it would, but the silences became heavier.

“Let’s not talk about that,” you pleaded.

“No, but let’s,” he shifted again on the couch and sat to his side to face you “let’s discuss this,” you shook your head “we have to, Florencia”

You turned to see him, suppressing a gasp that was about to come out of you. It was the first time he had said the first name at all.

You didn’t want to talk about it because you knew nothing good would come out of that conversation; you were trying to deny everything, more to yourself than to Javier, and mostly because you weren’t looking to get or give any emotional pain, not more that was already given.

“We like each other,” he stated, hiding the hesitancy of his voice. You rolled your eyes in dismissal, he reached for your hand, trying to find his words “are we doing something about it?” you tilted your head.

You seriously were expecting him to say something along the lines of  _ yes we like each other but I’m your boss so cut the shit and let’s forget about it _ , something that could give you an easy way out, something that you could hold on to and use as an excuse to stop everything, not that. You weren’t expecting him to actually ask you anything.

“I wanna do something about it,” he said softly, as if the phrase was just a thought that had slipped off. You released your hand from his grip without saying a word “see, I’m conscious of the implications,” he rubbed softly his hands on the fabric of his pants. Was he really nervous? “I–shit,” he spat, frustrated “it’s been a long time y’know, I forgot how to do this” he rubbed his lower lip with his thumb and you shivered, out of nervousness or out of excitedness, you couldn’t tell “I know it’s not ideal, all this,” he motioned a circle in the air with his other hand, you repressed a smile, because of course you were reading him, it was somewhat amusing for you seeing him get flustered by the lack of words he seemed to be coming up with, and all the gestures he was making just kept telling you that he really cared about it, _about you_ , and it made it worse “but I don’t wanna brush it off,” he revealed, forcing himself to not break eye contact with you, your heart skipped a beat.

“Javi…” you muttered, looking at his hand rubbing his chin and the other resting on his leg, this time you reached to grab it, “you couldn’t be possibly considering this” he raised an eyebrow at you, he was already sitting on it.

“What if I am?” he let out after a moment of silence. You inhaled deeply and shook your head slowly.

“Well, fuck” you ran your fingers through your scalp “and how exactly would this work, anyway?” Javier gave your hand a soft squeeze.

“We can make it work,” he said.

Javier didin’t know what the hell he was doing, was he letting himself really start something that might end his career just because of how much he seemed to like the woman in front of him? Maybe he was. Just then, with your eyes trying to read the shit out of his expression, with your fingers intertwined in his, with your  _ everything _ in front of him, the realization hit him, heavy as an anvil, of how much he was dreading for something like that. He just realized he wanted something that could ruin him in the best possible ways, he wanted something that was worth all the risk he was taking; he wanted something,  _ someone _ that made all the fighting worthy.

“Yeah, but how?” you nodded, starting to get frustrated, you had way more things to lose than just your job “you said you know the implications,” he nodded quietly, you wanted to yell at him that he didn’t know shit, you wanted to tell him what  _ you  _ knew, but you couldn’t “so you obviously know what we can lose, yet you say we can make it work,” you started rambling “ho– ho– how? how the fuck will this work when there're strict rules against this shit!” your eyes started moving trying to fix themselves in one spot so you could think on something else to tell him without actually revealing yourself “and the fact that you’re my fucking boss doesn’t help one bit!” he smiled at how your voice became impossibly high as you tried to make sense of everything “so  _ please  _ tell me how we can make something like this even work!”

Javier just stared at you, you shook your head.

“What are we gonna do? keep it a secret and hide around like a couple of tweens? do you think that’ll work? it won’t” you spat, he leaned in to get closer to you, took your chin in between two fingers and turned your head slowly so you could face him.

“Exactly” he whispered, you frowned.

“What?” 

“No one needs to know” he shrugged, your frown deepened. You shook your head once again.

“I don’t need this,” you moved your head away from his hand, he immediately frowned in confusion “do you want me to be honest?” you rhetorized, “yeah, I like you, a fuck ton actually, but do you want to know something more about me?” he nodded, you panicked inside, you weren’t about to uncover yourself, were you? “I don’t wanna lose my job” you exclaimed “I actually like my fucking shitty job,” you lied, you looked around again to try to find something else inside your mind, something heavier, tangible “and also I dont want to become the woman that fucked her boss for a raise,” you said, biting your lip, he was about to speak when you cut him off “people will know, they will find out,” you let out of his hand “eventually they will and it will affect me more than it will affect you, Javier, and I don’t need that,” you explained, “I don’t need my name to be dragged through the dirt more than it already is, they will say that I’m with you for a promotion even if we both know it’s not true,” you shrugged and made a disgusted grin, it was true, but you couldn’t tell him as well that you had much much more to lose than just your reputation, “just because that’s how it is, I’ve seen it happen way too many times than I would’ve liked to” you had another couple of things to tell him, the first one you wanted to say was that you didn’t wanna end up hurt or hurting him as well, the second one you wanted to say was harder to even think about, you swore to keep it down, you were told to not  _ break it _ and not to  _ fuck it up _ , so you shut up before that spilled out of your mouth.

“Florencia…” he called out, you turned your head to look at him back. Javier really wanted to tell you that he wouldn’t allow that to happen, he really wanted to assure you that no one would find out or that you wouldn’t get fired. But he wasn’t a liar. He knew you were right, but he wished you weren’t. 

For a moment he had allowed himself to think that he could have something like that, that he had something good for the first time in hell-knows who long, something real that wouldn’t disappear before his eyes. Something he could grab and mold and try, really try not to break.

You covered your mouth when a sudden yawn wanted to come out of your mouth. You glanced at your watch, it was almost two in the morning.

“I need to go” you stood up without waiting for Javier to say another thing.

“Let me walk you home” he stood up as well, grabbed his keys and walked with you to the door.

You both went down the stairs and through the front door in complete silence, once you walked the stairs down to the sidewalk Javier interlocked fingers with you, not saying a word.

The walk to your building, as quiet as it was, felt oddly comforting. You looked at Javier, he had his eyes on the street and his expression was blank.

The words you said and didn’t say to him came back to the front of your mind and as much as you wanted to take them back you knew it was only the truth, or at least some of it, and you knew he had realized that as well. Something between you wouldn’t work, even as you remembered the kiss you had shared and how good it felt, how right it felt. Just because of  _ reasons _ you couldn’t even start to explain to him.

God, you were on deep shit.

Javier didn’t want to let go of your hand. He loved the way your fingers curled around his, how soft your hand was and straight up he just was growing really fond of physical contact with you. Although he couldn’t stop thinking about what you said back at his place, it stung inside of him because even though he understood where you were coming from, he still wanted to be with you. And it was mentally exhausting for him, because it really was the first time he wanted to feel something like that. It was the first time in  _ years _ , he was willing to allow himself to feel.

It wasn’t just physical attraction, it wasn’t just desire or lust or hunger or any of those he had felt at first with so many other women and that slowly had evolved into something  _ else _ , something complex he didn’t have a name for because it was better if it was vague.

You were gorgeous to him, that was true, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to have you in his arms, but you also had something, something he wasn’t yet able to point out that made you stand out to him and that made him want to look at you and admire you and study you all the time and it was frustrating and made him feel powerless and out of his comfort zone. He was in constant awe of you and he didn’t even know why.

When you arrived at your building he walked with you up the stairs to the deep blue front door, he reluctantly let go of your hand so you could reach for your keys and open the door.

“See you tomorrow” you murmured, he nodded and stepped down one step, holding your gaze.

“Pick you up at seven” he muttered.

“A’right” he looked at you “good night” you gave him a little smile and he sighed.

“Fuck it” he whispered, grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him, his free hand cupped your jaw as he closed the distance between you, kissing you without warning, you whimpered in surprise and put a hand on his shoulder to push him away from you, but then he brushed you lower lip with his tonge and you felt your eyelids drop, opening your mouth for him to taste. He let go of your wrist and put his hand on your waist, deepening the kiss.

By the time he finally had the strength to break the kiss and walk down the stairs to the sidewalk, you had forgotten all your insecurities. It could work.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set in season three, episode five  
> warnings: food and just javi and reader being a fucking couple aaaa

Two weeks later Javier still picked you up, you had a car now, but you really rathered riding with him to work. And he didn’t mind having you and your morning thoughts and rants with him.

“Good morning” you greeted, hopping into his suv.

“Hi” he leaned over the console to give you a kiss on the cheek while you buckled your seatbelt, you smiled and got closer to press your lips together rather swiftly. It was too early to start feeling blushed all over.

He started driving and making small talk. You were growing really fond of this new routine, he was still playing chauffeur for you, just for the fun of it and now he’d actually talk to you. He would show up with a relaxed grin at your doorstep and greet you with a kiss, some days it was just a peck on the lips, some others it’d be an eager brush to get the taste of your lipstick and your toothpaste and you, he would also grab your hand once or twice during the drive to kiss it on the back and he would give you one or two glances and maybe some smiles before putting on his mean face for the rest of the embassy. Something that really amused you.

It was a good thing, right? a good thing that made you both feel good, a good thing with  _ no name _ that made you both feel  _ great _ .

“Hey,” he said while you walked towards the steps on the embassy entrance “I’ve got a meeting with the ambassador and the head of the police, wanna come with me?” he asked, you narrowed your eyes and looked at him to see if he was just teasing you or being at all serious. He smirked at you.

“Not in a million years,” you joked with fake disdain “I can wait for you though” you offered, getting inside.

“No, it’s okay, I have to meet with the minister of defense later anyway,” he closed his eyes, already tired of the day he hadn’t even started “this is a fucking nightmare” he complained while you headed to the elevator, half joking, half whining.

“You can just repeat to yourself  _ I love my job _ ,  _ I love my job _ ” you scoffed, making him laugh under his breath.

The hours were passing quite quickly, you found another note on top of your desk reading  _ fucking come to my office now! _ you did the same with that one as you did with the last note and ripped it in four parts, you didn’t have the time. You had some new tapes of the wiretap you had put on one of the cartel worker’s wife, so you and Stoddard had spent a few hours listening to them in a small room with a huge recorder and transcribing them onto paper.

The door behind you opened, you turned around as Javier entered the room.

“Any word on the location?” he asked, looking stiffer than ever. You stared at him while you took your headset off.

“Nothing yet” Stoddard said, turning the volume up on the speakers and pulling down his huge headset as Javier sat on the edge of the desk and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand, you noticed his exasperation, the three of you listened as Christina, Franklin Jurado’s wife, wondered if the DEA was looking for them, ironic, because you were listening. Javier turned the recorder off and glanced at the both of you.

“She’s panicky,” Stoddard noted.

“No shit” you snorted, the guy looked back at you and rolled his eyes. Javier stared at nothing for a second and stood up, heading for the door.

“Where you goin’?” Stoddard asked, you leaned back on the chair.

“To give things a push, we're running out of time” Javier blurted, you tilted your head and stood up, intending to get out along with him.

“Hey,” Stoddard called out, “can we talk about this wiretap, though? I mean the– legality of it?” you and Javier sighed at the same time and he turned around, closing the door he had already opened. You crossed your arms and shook your head.  _ Poor boy _ , you thought.

“Stoddard,” Javi looked at him, “I want you to think of where do you see your career in five years, does having that conversation help or hurt your chances of getting there?” he responded, you wanted to smack the guy on the nape and tell him  _ see?, loosen the fuck up! _ but you just looked at him while Javier got out of the room and shrugged to him, heading out as well.

“Hey,” you called out at Javi, he stopped for a second and tilted his head quickly to tell you to walk with him “how did it go with the minister?” you asked, brushing his forearm with your hand slightly.

“As foresaw, a nightmare” he chewed “basically gave me an ultimatum, Rodríguez won’t last in jail, so we have less time than expected” you wrinkled your nose a bit, you got to his office and he took off the suit’s jacket, you looked at him, he seemed way tenser than he usually did.

“Javi,” you whispered, “what’s with you?”

“Nothing,” he dismissed your question, loosening the tie knot. You rolled your eyes lightly, it was as if he still hadn’t learned that you could read him.

“Something’s eating you alive, it shows” you told him. He was grabbing the bag where he kept his casual clothes.

“Just the usual guilt” he joked, stopping his movements as he realized what he had just said and hitting himself mentally he glanced at you for a few seconds, just waiting for your reaction.

The small appointment he had with the minister of Defense had brought up some nasty memories of his regarding the time he had worked with Los Pepes in the pursuit of Escobar, it was something he didn’t like to remember, something he wanted to burn out of his brain.

“I can relate to that” you commented with a soft smirk, getting the silent message that he didn’t want to talk about it. Even so you had a brief idea of what was holding his mind hostage at that moment.

“We gotta act fast” he changed the subject fast “this whole thing is a ticking bomb waiting to blow up”, he opened the bag and rummaged around. He was about to change.

“Are you gonna see Christina?” you guessed, he nodded “good”

“You okay with that?” he asked, pulling out of the bag a pair of dark blue jeans. Your chest turned at how he looked for your reassurance about his plan. You fought back the need to walk to him and give him a kiss.

“Yeah, do whatever you need to do” you said nonchalantly, he smiled out of the corner of his mouth at the way you just took in what he told you and didn’t think anything else of it, you walked to the door so he could change, “hey Javi,” you called him on your way out “don't flirt with her” you suggested.

“Why, are you jealous?” he teased, making you roll your eyes again and smile.

“She's a married woman, you fool,” he let out a chuckle while taking off his belt “a married woman that moved to south america for her hubby, your flirts won't do shit, try to be friendly” he raised his eyebrows, of course you had analyzed her.

“Try?” he argued in fake offense.

“Yeah, I doubt you can pull it off, but just try” you scoffed, walking out of the office and closing the door with a smile on your face, just really enjoying the change and the banter.

When he headed out he glanced at you and winked, you lifted your eyebrows at him and your gaze followed him to the exit until he disappeared on the hallway. You had let out a contented sigh and turned back to the report you were writing when you noticed that the brunette girl you’d talked about Javier with was staring at you. Her expression was confused and from your angle you could see she was bouncing her leg up and down, nervously. She turned around quickly when she realized you were staring back at her. For a moment you actually considered trying to focus on the deeper meaning of his movements but brushed it off, you had better things to do.

A few hours later after you had faxed some reports and tried to get started on some others the phone on your desk rang and you picked it up absently.

“Martín”

“ _ Hey _ ” Javier’s voice made you lift your eyes from the report you were reading.

“Hey,” you greeted, “were you friendly?” you asked teasingly, leaning down in the chair.

“ _ You already know I wasn't _ ” he murmured, the sounds of the street making his voice sound a little distorted “ _ I told her to convince her husband to help us _ ” 

“He won't do shit” you assured, while on the other side of the line the noise of a door being closed shut was heard and the street noises were muffled, he wanted to ask how you were so sure but he found the answer when he remembered all the pictures of him you had laying around the desk before he headed out. You heard him sigh heavily.

“ _ Wanna grab lunch? _ ”

He picked you up at the embassy entrance and after driving a few blocks and stopping to kiss you a few times, he actually asked you if you were craving something, you told him to surprise you so he took you to a small restaurant and introduced you to the marvelous  _ bandeja paisa _ and laughed at you when you asked why the hell did it have a banana on it when they served you. You were trying to choke down several sighs after he took the time to explain the foreign concept of cooking bananas to you and then proceeded to teach you how to eat it by cutting the meat on your plate himself. You watched him smile at you when you took your first bite and you widened your eyes at the richness and the flavour, and he ate his while telling you he had the same reaction as you did the first time he had tried it a few years before when he first was sent down to Colombia.

After a two-hour lunch, which he told you he had indulged on and assured you mockingly you wouldn’t have trouble with your boss, you were back in the small room where the recorder was, listening to Christina try to talk to her husband about the situation they were into.

“ _ Danki masha danki, right? _ ” you picked out while listening, you were transcribing the call into a notepad almost absently when the man you were spying said that “ _ I can see our island from my room _ ” Christina then slipped out that they might have more options, Franklin started to fuss about her being a rat and talking to someone when he cut the call.

“Rewind” Javier pointed out, Stoddard nodded and pushed the rewind button “there”

“ _ Danki masha danki _ ”

“Masha” you mumbled, trying to dig into your mind, you were sure you had heard people say those words back at home “mucho?” (much/a lot) you bit the tip of the pen you were holding when you recognized the other word he had said “doesn't  _ danke _ mean thanks?” you asked out loud. 

“I think I might know where he is” Javier blurted, standing up and storming out of the door, Stoddard looked at you quizzically. 

“Tell me a place nearby where spanish and german are spoken at the same time” you asked him, he raised his eyebrows.

“Caribbean islands” he murmured, you nodded and smiled at him

“I’ll go get some maps” you said, dropping the notepad on the desk and heading out.

“Guys, get this,” Javier walked out of the office while you walked towards him and Stoddard with a map of the Caribbean “I talked with the linguist specialist, it does mean thank you very much in papiamento” he explained, you grinned at him.

“Okay” Stoddard muttered, a bit lost.

“Curazao” Javier clarified.

“Lots of banks,” you added.

“There’s a lot of fucking banks, yeah” Javier stretched his hand to you and you gave him the map you were holding, he put a finger in the island of Curazao and then dropped on the desk a small pamphlet “here it is, the hotel he's staying at has an island villa you can rent”

“Okay, what do we do?” Stoddard asked.

Javier told Stoddard to call the authorities at Curazao and ask for Jurado under all the aliases he used.

“We got him didn't we?” the guy asked while picking up the phone receiver.

“Not yet, but he's there, call!” Javier walked back to his office and you saw Stoddard starting to dial. You followed Javier into the office.

“You’re going to Curazao?” you questioned him, he was grabbing the bag he always had in his office.

“Yeah” he sighed out, you saw him open the desk drawer and take out his passport. 

“Want me to come?” you offered, he looked at you for a moment, you were eager to get out of the office and eager to be out of the office  _ with him _ , and he had just brought up the best opportunity, but he knew that even though he  _ really _ wanted to go with you to a beautiful caribbean island where no other agents were wandering around, he had to do the practical thing and go alone.

“I need you here” he told you, you suppressed an eye roll.

“Are you sure?” you asked, giving him the slight chance to reconsider and tell you to get ready, but Javier nodded silently.

“Okay” you said, a bit disappointed but accepting, he had his reasons “want me to drop you at the airport?” he nodded again. You stood there, waiting for him to get ready when your beeper went off, you took it out of your pocket and saw the message  **CALL ME**

“Sorry, gotta get this” you turned around to walk out of the office

“Who is it?” you heard Javier behind you, his voicetone made him sound a little desperate.

“Marcos” you informed him with a smile and walked to your desk to call your former partner. He picked up after the second ring. “¿qué pasó? no tengo mucho tiempo” (what’s up, I don’t have much time) you asked him.

“Yo tampoco” (me neither) he sounded agitated, he was whispering into the phone “nuestro informante escuchó a Amado Carrillo haciéndole una propuesta de negocios a Pacho Herrera” (our informant heard Amado making a business proposal to Pacho) you frowned “separarse de Cali y hacer negocios con él y el cártel de Juárez, pero no se más” (break away from Cali and do business with him and the Juárez cartel, but that’s all I know) a heavy sigh let out your body.

“Gracias, Marcos, en serio” (Thanks, Marcos, really) he hung up the phone and you rubbed your forehead with a hand.

“Let’s go” Javier walked out of his office with his bag in one hand, he stared at you “you okay?” you nodded and walked around your desk, grabbing your bag to get out of the office with him “what’d he tell you?” he murmured.

“Apparently the cartel is burning from the inside” he looked at you with eyebrows raised in interest.

He drove to the airport while you were telling him what Marcos had told you, and together you spent half of the drive theorizing about what was going on in the cartel after you arrested one of the heads. The other half was silent, you staring at him and him reaching to hold your hand. Definitely you were starting to get used to it. 

“Go home, you look tired” he noted when he parked the suv and you both got out.

“The hell I will, I’ll keep you company while you wait to board” he smiled softly, walking around the suv and giving you the keys.

You walked together into the airport terminal in silence and sat at the bar inside the airport waiting room, he ordered a whiskey and you got a coffee, you were making small talk about what he’d do in Curazao with his fingers brushing the back of your hand that was resting on the bar, his satelital phone rang.

“Peña” he answered in a whiskey induced rough voice, you smirked “I’m glad you called, you okay?” you tilted your head to him in question, he looked at you and mouthed Christina's name and you lifted an eyebrow, he listened attentively at what the woman on the phone was saying “you get my word” he murmured and glanced at you to see your reaction, you took another sip of your coffee “you did? that's good” he made a small pause and you left the half empty coffee cup on the bar “he said that?” you checked your watch and then showed it to him, you both stood up, you started walking with him “that's fine, you take all the time you need” he hung up the phone, you were about to ask him what the call was about when the feminine voice in the speakers announced that his flight was about to board, you grabbed his forearm and he stopped for a second to look at you.

“Be safe, please” you whispered, “don’t come back until you get him”, he lifted the corner of his mouth in a half-smug, half soft smile and glanced shortly to his sides, licked his lips and leaned in to give you a short but deep kiss.

“Take care of my truck” he murmured in your lips, you scoffed and nodded. He gave you another peck and started walking towards the gate.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set in season three, episode six

Driving alone to work was definitely not as fun as driving with Javier, you were way too used to him picking you up that you had already forgotten the way from your house to the embassy, and just to not miss him that much, you kept driving his car instead of the one the embassy had given you.

You scoffed at yourself as you remembered the call he had given you earlier that morning, just talking to you about his plan and actually seeking your thoughts into what he had come up with. That man was quickly becoming part of your everyday life and as scary as you thought it was, it as well felt completely right. It was just like he had always been there. 

That day you took the time to go to where the little notes on your desk wanted you to, and it didn't take a long time for you to finish your business and go back to the DEA office without being noticed.

The office felt quite empty without his presence. You knew he would be gone just one day, mostly two. But the space felt cold and oddly quiet, despite the usual movement and noises.

You and Stoddard were classifying some information and finishing writing some reports to send to Washington when your once-gone but resurfaced nicotine craving hit your stomach.

“Stoddard you have a smoke?” you asked him over your desk.

“You already know I don't,” he replied, you were out and as much as the idea of just not smoking at all was attractive, your crave felt deep. You remembered seeing an already started pack in Javier’s car and stood up to go get it. The phone in your desk rang, interrupting your quest.

“Martín” you picked up.

“ _ I got him, _ ” Javier’s voice erupted into your ear. He sounded agitated.

“Fuck yeah,” you smiled and a relief sigh left your body “are you ok? did he put up a fight?” you asked, already knowing that Jurado wasn’t exactly the fighting type, the street noises on the other side of the line were hushed.

“ _ Just a sprint, I think I sprained my ankle _ ” he exclaimed, he sounded like he was still trying to recover his breath.

“So you don't know how to run?” you teased, he scoffed to the phone.

“ _ I jumped from a balcony _ ” you frowned.

“Shit spiderman, you ok?” you knew he was the kind of agent that would jump to the roofs and into bodies of water to catch a prep, but watching any other agent or doing it yourself felt way less personal than the thought of him doing it, he hummed positively “what did the ambassador say?” you changed the subject.

“ _ Haven’t called him yet, have to check with him about the extradition _ ” you covered your mouth with your hand, silencing a gasp. He hadn’t called the ambassador,  _ his boss, _ to inform him about the arrest first, he had called you. You felt a known and unfamiliar warmness inside your chest that made your heart start racing like a horse running through a hill.

“Right, you better get onto that” you stated in a flustered whisper.

“ _ I’ll call you later, _ ” he hung up. You put the phone down on the base and tried to calm yourself, deciding to go get the pack of cigarettes from his car and in the way grab some fresh air into your lungs.

Later arrived, you were lighting your second cigarette of the afternoon when the phone rang again. You picked it up, already knowing it was him, and took a drag of smoke.

“ _ He wants to see his wife before testifying _ ” he grunted after you greeted him.

“Of course he does,” you said on a snark, breathing out the smoke.

“ _ Can you go check on her at her apartment? Maybe get her somewhere safe? _ ” you sat straight, maybe you had heard him wrong. Maybe he was asking you to tell somebody else to do it. But again, maybe he really was telling you to do it yourself. You weren’t going to deny that after the things he had told you a few weeks earlier you were unsure of how he saw you as an agent, and you knew he really appreciated what you did back in Cali, but you still had your hesitations.

“You really want  _ me _ to do that?” you asked him, he cleared his throat.

“ _ I know you can do it _ ” he responded softly, you allowed yourself to smile at his words.

“Right,” you tried to calm yourself. “I'll get on it, I'll call you back once it's done” you said, standing up.

“ _ Great, thanks babe _ ” he hung up the phone as soon as he said it, your jaw fell slightly open and you felt your breath hitching. Fuck, did he really just say that? You squeezed your eyes closed for a bit, trying to compose yourself. It was a really high school girl demeanor to get  _ blushed _ by your boss slash whatever the hell he had become calling you  _ babe. _

But… he called you babe!

You grabbed the phone again to call the National Police headquarters so you could go to check on Christina with some cops when your beeper went off. It was from Marcos, you instead dialed his number.

“Marcos, ¿que hay?” (what’s up) the question sounded a lot softer than you had intended it to, but you knew he wouldn’t think anything of that.

“ _ Un rumor _ ” (a rumor) he sounded rather preoccupied.

“Dime” (tell me) you requested him.

“ _ Alguien aseguró que anoche vio sicarios entrando a la casa donde Pacho se estaba quedando en Guadalajara, hubo balacera _ ” (someone claimed seeing last night some sicarios getting into the house Pacho was staying in Guadalajara, there was a shooting) he said, voice hushed, you frowned.

“¿Qué hace el cártel de Guadalajara atacando gente de Cali?” (what’s the Guadalajara cartel doing attacking people from Cali?) you questioned “no tiene sentido” (doesn’t make sense)

“ _ No, eran Colombianos _ ” (no, they were colombian) he told you, roughly.

“Shit” you cursed under your breath, putting the phone down once you realized he had hung up. You tried to think what it meant, there were some other smaller cartels around Colombia operating under Cali’s command, maybe they were really unsatisfied about the whole surrender debacle, and maybe as you had arrested one of the bosses, they saw their opportunity to go after the other two. Who fucking knew?

You took Javier’s truck keys after calling the police to request a cop car to go with you to pick up Christina.

The drive to the apartment building was quiet and quick, you had called another field agent to meet you there. Once you arrived you saw the police truck parked directly in front of the doors, you sighed and rolled your eyes. When you parked and got out you saw the other agent talking to two police officers ever so casually, they glanced at you when your hard steps caught their attention.

“Muevan el carro, si anda fuera y los ve se va a ir” (move the car, if she’s outside and she sees you she’s gonna flee) you exclaimed, one of them raised his eyebrow at you, you stared at him with your jaw clenched and snapped your fingers twice at him, he dropped his shoulders and nodded “voy a preguntar por ella” (I’m gonna ask for her)

You walked towards the door of the building and got inside, the receptionist greeted you and you asked for the apartment of the Jurado’s, she told you Mrs. Jurado had left earlier and hadn’t arrived yet. You walked out and saw the cop truck parked half a block away. The agent was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette, he offered you one and you were about to say yes when your cell phone rang. 

“Martín” you answered.

“ _ She left _ ” Javier’s voice barked at you.

“What?” you frowned, what the fuck?

“ _ She just called me, she said she saw men in the entrance and freaked out _ ” you sighed deeply and rubbed your temple with your free hand.

“Fuck, it must've been when I went inside to ask for her” you muttered, looking at the agent in front of you, you were clenching a fist when Javier’s voice caught your attention again.

“ _ I told her to go to the embassy, can you go back and wait for her? _ ” he questioned, sounding desperate.

“Of course,” you reassured him, suppressing the sudden need to call him _ honey _ , “I'm gonna beat the shit out of these guys first for looking so much like cops and I'll be on my way back to meet her” you informed him.

“ _ Thank you _ ” he said a little softer before cutting the call.

“She fucking left!” you barked at the agent standing in front of you “she saw you and your stupid cop face and she bailed” not even waiting for his response you walked to the truck, turning on the ignition and driving away, leaving him to deal with the officers.

You next steps were to race back to the embassy, tell the guard on the gates that a woman would be arriving any minute asking for agent Peña, to let her through and run to the reception to tell the same thing to the girl behind the desk, and sit on one of the narrow benches there were on the lobby to wait for her.

An hour passed and there was no sign of Christina, you didn’t know if she had a cellphone with her and you started to get jumpy, it was getting late and you were fearing something had happened to her. She was yours and Javier’s only hope to take a hard hit on the cartel, and you were worried they had done something to her.

You walked out to the parking lot and pulled out your satelital phone, dialing Javier’s number, but the line didn’t even connect.

By the time Javier could call you, you were on the sidewalk, just anxiously looking for any signs of a tall blond american woman walking by.

“I tried to call you, you turned off your phone?” you asked on a whine, he sighed on your ear.

“ _ Florencia, what the fuck is going on? _ ” he questioned, his voice sounded raspy and tired.

“I was about to ask the same thing! I've been waiting for her outside for two fucking hours, she never arrived!” the sound Javier made into the phone made you move it off your ear a few inches, it wasn’t a scream but it was loud and rough, guttural and understandingly irritated.

“ _ Fuck! I’m sure she was taken _ ” he hissed.

“Don’t say that shit” you rubbed your temple again, your head was killing you “we’ll think of something”

“ _ I’m heading back, can you pick me up at the airport? _ ” Javier asked in a low deep voice.

“Sure, I’ll be there”

Once again you were on the driver’s seat of his suv, the streets of Bogotá looked strangely empty, your mind was revolving between four different things; the first being how tired you felt: thinking made your head feel heavy, and driving and running around town was starting to make your muscles ache, the second, how worried you were for Christina Jurado: she was the wife of a narco accountant, that was true, but after listening to dozens of her calls you had realized she was dead scared about the whole situation, and you truly didn’t want anything to happen to her, the third, how excited you were to see Javier: it had been just a day, only one day without seeing his stupid handsome face, but you found yourself missing him throughout the day, you found yourself thinking of him and what would he do and missing his stupid snarky comments thrown your way and the fourth thing you didn’t actually had the chance to really deepen into when you saw him walk through the gate wearing an open DEA jacket and under it a really cute pink shirt, holding his bag with one hand, you really wanted to jog to him and throw yourself into his arms, you scoffed at yourself, suppressed the urge and gave him a smile. He looked tired and worried.

Javier walked straight to you and after just whispering a small “Hey” he cupped your face with his free hand and kissed you, startling you.

He knew it wasn’t the safest idea to just walk up to you and kiss you like that in a semi crowded airport, moving his free hand to hold your waist but he was really seeking some physical contact. He felt your hands resting on his shoulders and felt grounded, the way you smelled and the slight brush of your fingers on the incipient hairs of his nape really made him feel in the moment, made him forget for just a minute who he was and what he had just done, he let out a sigh as he broke the kiss.

“I like your shirt” you whispered as he rested his forehead on yours, tugging the pink soft fabric with your fingers, making him huff a smile “it’s definitely your color” 

“My color is red” Javier said softly, you chuckled.

“Let’s go” you gave a step backwards to look at him “you must be exhausted” he nodded and grabbed your hand as you both started walking towards the airport exit.

“I’m starving” you were quite lost in the grip he had on your hand “why don’t we grab some takeout and go to your place?” Javier suggested as you reached his suv, taking the keys out of your hand to open the trunk.

“I’d rather go to yours, it’s bigger” Javier raised his eyebrows and got into the car next to you, you rolled your eyes.

“So you like bigger?” he teased, turning on the ignition.

“Shut up” you hissed, making him laugh.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set after season three episode six  
> warnings: food, smut, unprotected sex and talks of violence and scars

Forty-five minutes later, after a drive to a restaurant that seemed kind of shady to you and another drive in which you discussed what did you think happened to Christina Jurado, you were sitting cross-legged on his couch with no shoes on and a plate with three warm chicken-filled arepas on your lap, Javier walked down from the kitchen and towards you with two beers on one hand and his own plate on the other, he had turned off the kitchen light so the living room was only lit by the lamps by both ends of the couch and the streetlight that was coming from the window. He handed you a beer and sat next to you; you were telling him about the call you had given Marcos earlier that day and the short theories you had found time to come up with.

“It’s very likely that’s because they want the other three down after Rodriguez’s arrest” Javier commented, taking a sip of his beer while you took one of the arepas and gave it a bite.

“Fuck” you moaned out loud, since you’ve arrived in Colombia that was one of the most delicious food you’ve eaten, it was really similar to some foods you had eaten before back home or while your were stationed in México, but it had something that made it stand up taller.

“You okay over there?” he teased, you moved your head trying to nod.

“I just don’t get tired of these, fucking delicious” you still had food in your mouth, so you covered it with the back of your hand.

“Have you tried lulo juice yet?” he asked, amused at your reaction when you took a second bite of your arepa.

“ _ Wha’s tha’ _ ” you asked while chewing, he had given his own arepa a bite and you waited for him to finish.

“It’s a south american fruit, it’s like an orange on the outside but it’s green inside, it’s really good” he explained, sipping on his beer.

“I shall order it next time we eat out” you said absently, taking another bite.

“Careful with that” Javier warned you when the arepa fell apart in your hand and the filling spilled out.

“Shit” you murmured, looking down to your button-up shirt and noticing how some of the filling had fallen on it. It was greasy and orange colored, you dropped the piece of arepa you were holding on the dish and leaned to put it on the coffee table, putting your feet down on the floor.

“Let me get you some napkins” he stood up as you licked your fingers clean. Javier catched a glance of you sucking on your index finger and felt a well familiar tug inside his belly. Shit.

You looked down at the shirt again and knew it was ruined, it would take you a long ass amount of time that you didn’t have to take out the grease of the fabric. It began to feel uncomfortable and it smelled way too much like chicken and spices, so you started to unbutton it.

“What are you doing?” Javier asked while he came down from the kitchen when he noticed your nimble fingers undoing the buttons.

“What does it look like?” you looked up at him, he was just standing there with a couple of napkins in one hand and his beer bottle in the other. He frowned, and felt that fucking tug inside him again “this is stained and sticky, it feels uncomfy as hell” you opened the shirt to let it fall down your shoulders, Javier looked at the black bra you were wearing and closed his eyes, moving his head, you frowned at his try to look away “oh come on” you scoffed “I’m quite sure I’m not the first woman you’ve seen taking her shirt off” he handed you the napkins as you stood up to stretch your arms and fully get rid of your shirt.

“No, but it’s the first time I see  _ you _ take it off” you stopped your movements, he looked back at you and you saw him eyeing you up and down, twice. His face was serious, his comment was low voiced, warm, hungry. The mood had suddenly changed, it grew silent and thick, comfortable but somehow heavy, certainly the fact that the room was dimly lit wasn’t helping much, you felt a shiver go down your spine and the sudden need to  _ cover up  _ grew inside your stomach. You were nervous, Javier held your gaze and you noticed a dark shine wandering inside his eyes.

He stepped closer to you and grabbed the shirt from your hands, tossing it to the side, along with the napkins wrinkled in a ball, the warm closeness of his body covered your skin and made you shudder. Immediately your senses started noticing things of him you hadn’t noticed before, like the way his Adam's apple moved up and then down when he gulped, or how his lips were slightly open when he breathed, or the way his breathes smelled of smoke, beer and  _ something else _ , or the small moles and freckles on his neck, or how good you felt when he was that close.

Javier’s gaze moved down to your lips and then back at your eyes, as if he was waiting for you to allow him to move closer, you leaned up and with blundering hands cupped his jaw. He let out a sigh and leaned into you to take your lips into his. His free hand rested on your uncovered waist, his touch was soft and warm, his thumb was tracing unknown shapes on your skin that made your body shiver. You opened your mouth to let him wander inside with his tongue, the wet contact on your mouth and his smoky breath made you grip his face and push your hips against him.

Javier let out a groan and moved his hand to your back, he made you both move down to the couch, as you sat he left his beer bottle on the end table without breaking the kiss, and he sat next to you. He raised his now freed and cold hand to your jaw as your own moved to his shoulders and his back, finishing with your arms around his neck.

A sudden and unwanted moment of clarity invaded most of your mind when he made you lean down on the couch, he moved from your mouth to your cheek then down to your jaw and finally settled by nibbling on your neck, was this even okay? having your assigned boss’s mouth leaving soft wet kisses on the now sensitive skin of the union between your jaw and your neck while your hand buried itself in his hair? having his hands roaming over your lower back and your shoulder? having his fingers playing with the black strap of your bra, waiting for you to allow him to slide it down? It felt right; it felt good, damn it felt amazing. 

Javier’s mind was numb, he was out of thoughts, your skin in his hands felt smooth, warm and electrifying under his touch, the taste of it on your neck was intoxicating and addictive, fuck you even smelled amazing, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his face shoved inside the crook of your neck. He was loving the way your breath hitched for a bit when he kissed a new spot; he was loving the way your body quivered under his touch; he was loving the way your arms felt behind his neck and the way your fingers tugged at his hair, making him feel heavier with the weight of your body, he was loving  _ you _ , without really even knowing.

“Kiss me” you whispered softly in his ear, you felt the way his chest deflated on top of your body, making you feel powerful.

His mouth moved back to yours instantly, and you brushed his lower lip with your tongue, ripping out of him a low moan. The sound that came out of his throat made your legs feel weak, and between your legs a known warmth was making its way in.

You moved your hands slowly back to his chest and your fingers quickly undid the buttons of his shirt, the touch of your arms brushing between your bodies made you feel warmer. 

He kneeled on the couch next to you when you finished opening his shirt and took it off, throwing it away. You felt a jump on your belly at the sight of his bare chest and how it just looked so  _ appetizing _ . You sat up so your face could be in front of his sternum, your hands stayed at his sides, you looked up at him and he glanced down at you.

“Preciosa” (precious) he breathed out and put his hand on the back of your head, you bit your lip and started kissing your way up the lightly tanned skin of his chest and your hands their way down to his hips, until you kneeled on the couch, facing him and your hands played with the hem of his pants.

“This is on the way” you whispered, you saw Javier’s head fall back, he sighed and stared at the ceiling as his hand was playing softly with your hair. For a moment the thought that he didn’t want you crossed your mind, and you were two seconds away from standing up, looking for your discarded shirt and get the hell out when he asked in a warm and low voice:

“You sure you wanna do this?” the air you didn’t know you were holding back left your body and a dumbly loving smile adorned your face. Why were you feeling that happy and that  _ aroused _ about him asking for your explicit consent? even when you thought you knew every single thing that had to be known about him, you found out something more that made you  _ want _ him more,  _ care _ for him more,  _ love _ him more?

Shit. Love?

“Of course” you responded in a whisper, he looked back at you “don’t you think I would’ve punched your jaw off if I didn’t?” Javier smiled at your response and his hand dropped from your head to cup your jaw, the other one moved to your left shoulder, you gave a light tug to the waistband of his pants when his hand caressed the skin of your shoulder and stopped at a small bump near the clavicle.

“What’s this?” he asked softly, getting closer to your shoulder and brushing his thumb over it, he noticed the imperfect rounded form of it and moved his head up a bit to look at you.

“I got shot about a year ago” you explained under your breath you saw him get closer to the scar, he kissed it tenderly. His soft lips made the skin under the scar feel like burning and ripped off an almost imperceptible moan out of you. He smiled over your skin and brought himself to you to kiss you again.

One of your hands moved from the hem of his pants and roamed around his chest.

“Are you gonna take your pants off or you gonna have me do it?” you mumbled on his lips, he smirked and raised his eyebrows, leaving his hands on your face and your shoulder. You narrowed your eyes and without moving away from his lips you unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants, sliding one hand inside while the fingers of your free hand pulled down the zipper.

Javier closed his eyes at the contact of your soft hand with his skin, you reached his bulge and cupped it over his underwear, your other hand moved to his nape and you brought him back to kiss you.

He was delighted with your touch, the way you were moving your fingers over his dick made him  _ whimper _ and for once he allowed himself to melt under someone else’s touch. 

You were enjoying the muffled sounds he was making, your hand traveled again through his skin and with it you pulled down his pants along with his underwear.

Javier let out a heavy sigh when you grabbed his half stiff cock and stroked it a few times.

“Fuck, Javi” you whispered on his lips, growing aware of the wetness inside your own pants.

He whined under his breath when you broke the kiss, you quickly gripped his butt with one of your hands, making him give a small jump out of surprise, the one that was hardening him went to his chest and pushed him back. He fell butt first on the couch and when he was about to complain, he saw you unbuttoning your pants.

You smiled hungrily as he licked his lower lip, your eyes wandered from his flushed face to his cock while he was getting rid of his pants and shoes and  _ god _ was he  _ gorgeous _ .

He started stroking himself when you got off the couch to take off the rest of your clothes; you shimmied down the pants and kicked them away.

He bit his lips at the sight of you in matching underwear.

“Were you planning for this to happen?” he teased you as you undid the hooks of your bra.

“I wear this for myself” you raised your eyebrows and threw the bra to his face with a cocky smile. His head fell back on the backrest and he grabbed the bra with his free hand, you felt a hard tug on your lower belly when he pressed it on his face and smelled it. The  _ kinky bastard _ .

You immediately took your panties off and kicked them away as well, a very slight warmness rose to your cheeks when you saw how wet you had left the fabric.

Javier still had your bra on his face when you straddled him, sitting just on his thighs as he was still slowly stroking himself off.

You grabbed your bra and tossed it away, he had a teasing smirk on his face. You motioned for him to move his hand and you took over the strokes through his shaft, his hand wandered through your thigh, moving then to the inner part, settling in your slit, the other moved to your hip.

“Fuck, you’re so wet” he hissed, moving his fingers up and down from your entrance to your clit, his gaze unable to move away from your core, you bit your lip and were about to have a taste at the skin of his neck that just looked  _ delicious _ under the dimmed warm light when he stopped you.

“Let’s go to the bed” he whispered, you sat up and frowned at him.

“Why? I wanna stay here” you faked a whine.

“I don't,” he said, tightening the grip on your hip. You looked at him and his face had a bundle of emotions at that moment, of course he was aroused and excited but he also seemed hesitant and dubious. You wondered for a second how many women he had fucked on that same couch and if that was the reason he wanted to move to his room, and to be honest, the thought of his naked, sweaty body pressed on the fake leather just made you way hornier.

“Fuck the bed” you whisper through gritted teeth, gripping his wrist and carefully moving away his hand from your pussy “and fuck foreplay, I wanna ride you here” you felt him hitch a breath under you and his hand that was partly covered in your juices moved to the other side of your hip.

“Florencia” he called under his breath as you put one hand on his shoulder for support and moved your hips closer to his crotch.

“Mhm” you hummed, focusing on lining yourself up with him.

“Wait, I need to grab a– fuck” he hissed when you brushed the tip of his cock against your wet slit “Flor–, wait a fucking second” he almost barked, gripping your hips, making you stop your movements over him “I need to put on a damn condom” you frowned.

“No you don’t, we’re safe” you shook your head softly, “and don’t call me Flor” moving his cock to your entrance and sinking into him. 

The sound that came out of Javier’s mouth was  _ heavenly _ , he moaned out loud as you sat in his lap with his cock all the way up inside you. You let out a giggle at the way he was filling you. What were you even worried about? it was right, everything about it was  _ totally right _ .

Javier closed his eyes and felt a shiver going  _ up and down _ his spine when he felt you walling up his dick and then opened them to find you with your head thrown back and a content smile on your face, as you waited for your pussy to adjust to him.

He was in complete awe of you and how quickly you had taken control of the situation, and he was really fucking surprised of his body just letting you do that. It was his first time letting a woman take full control of things, it was his first time in a damn long time having sex without a condom; it was the first time he had ever felt himself melt under the touch of someone and he was  _ loving _ it. He was really enjoying just sitting there, letting you take what you needed from him and letting you take care of him as well, he whimpered when you started slowly circling your hips.

“Oh my god, Javi” you breathed out, gripping his shoulders and moving your hips a bit faster.

“Fuck” he whispered, looking down at his lap, getting impossibly harder on the view of your pussy taking him whole. You started moving up and down, just straight up ruining yourself with Javier’s body “you’re astonishing, baby” he whispered and started helping you move with his hands on your hips while you moaned and clenched at the change of pace.

You leaned in to take his mouth on yours, moving your hips at a steady rhythm while he guided you. His mouth muffled your moans and he wanted to hear you, so one of his hands abandoned your hip and moved you to cup your face, pushing it softly to one side and letting you rest on it while he attacked the skin of your neck.

Javier’s tongue made your skin feel like burning, your eyes rolled up back when his body unconsciously started thrusting at the same pace you had been moving to meet your movements and reach deeper into you.

You started wailing when his hand moved from your face to one of your breasts and his fingers started playing with your nipple; the movement made you sit straighter and he just took the opportunity to leave your neck alone and start assaulting your other breast with his mouth.

“Shi– shit!” you screamed “I’m so close,” you felt him moan on your breast, you took the hand that was playing with the other one and made it stroll down to start playing with your clit instead, he immediately took the rather obvious hint and circled your clit with two fingers. “Javi– Javi don’t stop” you started panting and moving at a faster and erratic pace.

“That’s it, baby, take what you need” he reassured you, circling your clit faster.

Javier looked up to see you, you had your eyes closed and your mouth opened gasping for air, your nails were digging into the skin of his shoulders, your boobs were bouncing at the same pace your hips were moving and he thought of himself as the most privileged man just because he had you falling apart and coming undone on top of him.

Your moans became sobs when you felt your orgasm arrive from the tip or your toes and the center of your chest, going up and down at the same time meeting and clashing in your middle in a big burst of flaming energy that made your legs shake, your toes curl, your hips circle faster and your mouth scream his name, he squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the muscles of your pussy clenching and pressing around his cock, almost milking his orgasm out of him.

“I’m gon– gonna cum” he stopped moving his fingers on your clit and grabbed your hip tightly, you were riding down your orgasm.

“Yes” you hissed “cum inside me” you pleaded, Javier threw his head backwards growling, he hit the backrest as his mind went almost completely blank, the only two things inside were the sensations your body was giving his and the overall intimacy of you asking him to cum inside you, even if it was the first time you got to feel each other. Your hands moved to cup his face, and you kissed him softly while his hips thrusted into you a dozen or so more times, you let out a moan at the way his body stiffened under you and his fingers dug into your flesh, you were sure he was going to leave marks on your skin and the thought of it made you wetter.

“Oh, sh–shit,” he gasped, you tilted his head to you and kissed him, and he spilled himself inside you, your lips muffling the sound of his moans and you inhaling them as if you needed them to survive.

You clashed into his chest, rounding him with your arms, head resting on on his shoulder, you were breathing into his neck, waiting for the aftershocks of your orgasm to pass, enjoying the warmth inside your body that was starting to leak out and the small trembles of your legs, he put his arms around you on a hug and his fingers started pacing around the skin of your back absently.

Javier left small kisses on the skin of your shoulders and neck, recovering from his own climax, thanking you mentally for forcing him to stay on the couch.

“Hey” you whispered into his neck after a few minutes of post orgasmic bliss.

“Mhm” he hummed.

“Wanna go again?” you asked him, he dug his short nails on your back softly as he groaned and you giggled when he stood up with you still on his lap and his softened dick still inside you, you locked your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck as he walked away from the couch.

“Now in the bedroom” he said, making you laugh.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set after season three episode six and seven

The second round was as good as the first time, Javier had taken back control and made sure of make you feel like you were floating for around an hour, making you cum again twice and coming inside you once more before praising you for five whole minutes like he had praised no one before and laying on the mattress right next to you. At some point in your post orgasmic numbness, you moved to rest your head on his glistening chest, breathing him in while you shared a cigarette in silence.

Javier had his arm around you, his hand resting on your rib side, drawing patterns absently on your skin, and you rested your hand on his soft, warm chest. The silence was comfortable, the only thing that could be heard was both of your respirations and the muffled noises of the street.

“What’s your favorite part of yourself?” you broke the silence and felt his chest rising in a huff.

“What?” Javier voiced in both confusion and amusement.

“Y’know, what’s your favorite thing about your body?” you didn’t have an actual reason to make the question, although it was something that said a lot about a person, it was just the first thing that came to your mind as you just had devoured him almost in his entirety and let him do the same to you.

“I don’t know, I guess I like my neck” he mumbled, shifting on the bed, you heard the cigarette being pressed against the small ashtray, you smiled.

“Is that why you always wear your casual shirts open?” you teased, he let out a chuckle, you could feel it on your ear, the way his laugh traveled from his diaphragm to his mouth and kissed the soft spot of skin that was within reach of your lips “I like your neck” you murmured.

Another bit of silence fell upon the two of you and for a moment you felt your eyes drop with the fatigue of the day and the long sex session you had, he sighed.

You could feel his stare on top of your head, a small smile lifted out of the corner of your lips and you moved your head on his chest to finally look at him.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, putting your hand under you, between your chin and his pectoral, his face looked relaxed but confused, as if he was trying to figure out something, he didn’t say a thing for a little moment and you thought he was going to ask you the same question you did.

“Why are you here?” he questioned, you tilted your head.

“What do you mean? on your bed?” your lips quirked in a smug smile

“In Colombia” Javier said, his voice sounded careful and a little hesitant, almost as if he felt the question itself would burn, he noticed how your smile fell off your lips and you moved to rest on him again.

The question took you by surprise, for a moment, after the amazing sex you just had, with some post-coital blurriness and everything you were starting to feel for him, you actually wanted to answer his question with the whole truth. But analyzing the situation, it was too much of a risk for both you and him. You couldn’t tell him, not after this, not before you could know and make sure it was safe for you to tell him. At that point, with your head resting on his chest, with your ear directly on top of his heart, listening to the way his vital organ pumped the blood that was keeping him alive you  _ knew _ , you had to tell him the truth, even if that warm noise inside his chest you were being absorbed by stopped sounding for you. Eventually you had to break his and your hearts.

But now? You’ll go with the  _ official _ story.

“Alright” you murmured, shifting on the mattress to face him again, he moved his head and snuck an arm under the pillow to have a better look at you “I’m gonna be honest with you, only because I know you won’t judge me as much as other people do” he nodded and moved his hand to your forearm, giving it a slight squeeze, you looked down and felt the warmness of his encouraging gesture. There had been a pause on your part and he gave you a patient smile, for you there was no easy way to say this, but at least this had actually happened and you thought of the last time you had said the words, not remembering “I killed a man” you just ripped the bandaid, clenching your jaw.

“So? isn’t it part of the job?” he asked slowly, it wasn't dismissive, on the contrary he was trying to relate to you, you looked at him and scoffed, the gesture didn’t reach your eyes. You took another moment to rip the next bandaid off, closing your eyes.

“By torture” you added under your breath, not even wanting to open your eyes to see his face. Javier didn’t want to react, but you felt his chest stopping mid breath, your eyes opened, his face was neutral, but his eyes looked like they had gone somewhere for a few seconds before focusing back at you “it was an interrogation, y’know” Javier nodded, having those memories of what the late colonel Carrillo had shown him years before, how he had agreed to what he did to Escobar’s cousin, and countless things he had done with his own hands “we were trying to figure out where el Chapo was going to be, we just wanted intel” for a moment Javier squinted and wanted to ask you if you were assigned to the Chapo’s cartel, but he put a pin on that thought, maybe he could ask you some other time “my hand slipped” his eyes moved back to your face, your gaze was lost in the air between your bodies, he noticed the small twitches on your lips and brushed off the urge to hold you tighter to his body until he couldn’t anymore and brought you closer to him “I got shot about two weeks before that on a raid in Juárez and I was in a shit ton of painkillers so I wasn’t really aware of the amount of strength I was using” you mumbled, your brow formed a pained look “he choked to death” you blinked and opened your eyes rushingly, surprised that the image of that man’s body was still engrained on your mind, tied to a metal chair in the middle of a safe house dirty living room, head thrown back and sweaty face reddened as you watched his life leaving his body through his eyes, you realized your breath was shaken and you looked back at him “I choked him to death” you whispered.

“Florencia,” Javier said softly. Then one of those moments where he had so many things to say and thoughts forming came, and he didn’t even know where to start. He wanted to say that it wasn’t your fault, he wanted to tell you that this job makes you (and him and Steve and Carrillo and countless others) do things that if you had another life, you wouldn’t even think you would be doing. He wanted to make sure you knew that sometimes you have to do things for the greater good, even if he didn’t believe in said greater good, even if he knew it was just some bullshit made up by your own governments to fight an unfair war and end lives without even paying for it. But nothing came out of his mouth, he just looked at you move to rest back on his chest and felt the warm wetness of a tear on his skin. His hand moved to your hair and started brushing it.

“You wanted to know” you murmured, caressing the skin of his chest that was within the reach of your fingers “I couldn’t really handle it and they suspended me for a while” the screams of your boss came back to your head and you smiled in bewilderment, he felt your smile on his skin “because of the painkillers mostly” you scoffed and looked back at him, time to lie “then they called me back to Washington, praised my job and my help in the capture of el Chapo, and sent me here” his other hand found the way to your cheek and his thumb started rubbing your cheekbone softly.  _ Liar, liar, liar _ . Javier was giving you one of the warmest smiles he could, and you wondered if he would ever forgive you for not telling him the whole truth, if he, after learning everything about you, would ever give you that same warm gorgeous smile.

He was thinking how, despite your backgrounds, you weren’t so different in the end and although he didn’t like the fact of how much it seemed to affect you (and him), he felt even closer to you.

“Y’wanna know one of the many things I hate the most about this job?” Javier whispered, leaving the hand that was holding your face on his chest “it forces you to take lives” you made a small sound of agreement and rested your head back on his chest “I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve shot” the soft scratches his fingers were doing on your scalp relaxed you and you wanted to thank him for that and for not judging you in any way, but you mouthed a question to something else instead:

“It doesn’t make you a bad person, does it?” your eyes closing with his touch, he shook his head and whispered a no.

“It just makes you a person that’s willing to do whatever it’s needed for the greater cause” he felt your body scoffing faintly.

“Like you with Los Pepes?” you sighed out, already losing yourself to a more relaxed sleep thanks to three orgasms and Javier’s softest touches. He looked at you and felt your breathing even, he sighed to himself at how you just casually mentioned what he had done in the past, making an alliance with someone worse than the devil and bringing way too much suffering that he had intended, without giving it too much of a thought, but maybe it was because you were asleep.

“Like me and Los Pepes” he said to himself, and after pondering it for a few moments, he knew who he had to call to help him get Christina Jurado back.

Javier felt a slap on his naked thigh and then one on his ass over the sheet.

“Wake up” you said from the foot of the bed.

“No thanks” he mumbled, you rolled your eyes, you had woken up about thirty minutes earlier and after watching him sleep for about ten, got up and went to take a shower, your hair was wet and you were shoeless and wearing your clothes from the night before, without the stained shirt.

“You gotta take me to my place” you sat on the bed, he shifted around on the bed and opened one eye.

“No I don't” you frowned and he smiled at the sight of you, only on your bra and sitting next to him, washed face and slightly puffed lips.

“Javier I need to change” you groaned, he opened the other eye and frowned, you bit your lips to hide the smile on your face at how he looked, his hair was up and down in all directions, his eyes were narrowed because of the light and even his mustache looked messy. 

“What time is it” he asked in a groan, you looked at your watch.

“Fifteen past six” you replied.

“Amor, you’re already dressed, just take one of my shirts” he pointed at his closet and buried his face back in the pillow, your breath hitched at the endearment and as he wasn’t looking anymore you let yourself smile at it, and at the domesticity of it all, but then you remembered what he said and frowned.

“You’re not serious” you wanted to tug the pillow out but his body looked so relaxed you wanted to let him sleep all morning while you just watched him.

“I am” the pillow muffled his voice. You rolled your eyes.

“So much for keeping this a fucking secret” you growled and got up of the bed, walked to the closet and started browsing, you found the pastel blue shirt he had used on the Cali raid and smiled at it, then you wondered if it would be too much to wear that, but then you found one you had never seen him wear in a red, almost crimson color and grabbed that one, rememering he had told you before that red was his color, you took the shirt off the hanger and slipped it on, he lifted his head off the pillow and watched you put on his shirt.

“I love that shirt,” he commented, and tried to lean down back on the pillow.

“Get up and shower, you’re filthy!” you scolded him while finishing buttoning the shirt and started rolling up the sleeves.

“Yeah I am, and you love it” he teased and sat on the bed, watching you tuck the shirt inside your pants “now I’m never gonna wash that shirt” he mumbled, making you chuckle, he stood up and walked towards you in all his nakedness.

“You’re nasty” you scoffed, he cupped your face with both hands and gave you a long chaste kiss.

“Good morning” he whispered, moving a hand down to your waist and pulling you closer to him, you laughed and took his hand, pulling it away.

“Go take a shower” you murmured on his lips. Javier gave you another kiss and then let go.

“Yes, ma’am” you smiled when he walked away, shameless of his own body. When you heard the bathroom door close you remembered you had left your bag in Javier’s car and you still had to put on makeup, you slipped in your shoes, walked to the kitchen to grab the keys and ran out of the apartment to get it. When you came back with your bag in hand Javier was standing in the hallway speaking on the phone, he was dripping and holding a towel on one hand, you deduced that it had rung when you were downstairs and he had to get out the shower to pick up, he looked at you and raised his eyebrows  _ where were you? _ you shrugged and showed him the bag. He hung up, slid the antenna down, and left the phone back on the counter.

“Sorry” you smiled, Javier nodded but said nothing, he looked at you and then dropped his eyes to the floor, narrowing them for a second. He was thinking. You stood there in front of him, just patiently waiting for his brain gears to slow down. You recognized they did when he looked at you again.

“What happened?” Javier walked towards the bathroom

“Feistl’s informant just told them where Miguel Rodriguez is staying” he mumbled.

“Oh shit” you frowned, that was something huge “what are we gonna do?”

“They came up with something, y’know going at night, taking him by surprise” you nodded, he stood on the doorframe.

“And the informant really is gonna help?” you asked, it surely was suspicious, you saw him raise his eyebrows again.

“She better” he got inside the bathroom.

“What was her name, again?” you yelled when you heard the shower turning on.

“Natalia” 

When you walked together into the office, he went straight to his office, you hung back to greet some coworkers and as you were sitting on your desk you felt a strong stare in your body. You knew who it was before you looked up to see, the brunette agent, yet again, just staring at you, fixated in… your outfit. You hid a petty smug smile and looked down at the shirt you were wearing, the way you had tucked it in your pants and rolled up the sleeves made the entire outfit look really eighties, you were digging it, but apparently she wasn’t. You wondered for a second if she had recognized the shirt, but forgot it immediately when you saw Stoddard walking in with a to-go cup of coffee. You stood up when he greeted you.

“Excuse me, sir” you called him, ignoring the short  _ mornin’ _ he had given you “where’s  _ my _ coffee?” he looked at you and rolled his eyes at your fake offended grin.

“Are you really gonna make me go back to get you one?” he asked, turning his head back.

“Of course” you shrugged, he smiled and shook his head, he left his messenger bag on his desk and you handed him some money.

“You’re a pain in the ass” he grunted, a corner of your lips lifted.

“Get one for the boss as well” you let out a chuckle when he groaned out loud. The ring of the fax machine behind you interrupted your mocking, and you went to answer it, a few copies of reports and street maps printed and you saw a small note on top of the last one reading  _ please hand out to Agent Peña - VN _ , you took the papers out of the tray and walked to Javier’s office.

“Van Ness faxed this for you” you saw him look up at you with a faint smile and then his brow frowned when you handed him the papers.

“Why did you bring it, where’s Stoddard?” he took them and turned to look through the window to Stoddard’s desk, finding it empty.

“He went to buy me coffee,” you said nonchalantly. Javier raised his eyebrows at you.

“How do you control that guy?” he chuckled, you shrugged in response “can you do me a favor?” he asked after a few seconds of staring at you and just loving how good you looked with his shirt wrapping your body.

“Sure”

“Can you confirm with Crosby’s secretary the meeting I have with him and Botero?” he looked down again and grabbed his cigarette pack, you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him

“I’m not your secretary” you looked at his hands as he put the cigarette between his lips and lighted it.

“But you sent  _ my _ assistant to get  _ you _ coffee, so can you do that for me?” he took a drag and you rolled your eyes teasingly “we need to get Botero on board with the operative” he breathed out the smoke, you dropped your arms back to your side.

“Fine, but just this once” you argued, pointing at him, making him smile, you smiled at him back and stood in front of him for a second, admiring the way his eyes wrinkled when he smiled and his dimple appeared. Oh god how you wanted to kiss him.

A few hours later you were finishing writing a few reports when you saw a familiar hand tapping on your desk, you looked up, closing the folder that held the last report.

“Get ready and come with me” Javier instructed, you frowned, he had changed out of his suit, you sat up, just realizing you were hunched over the desk. 

“Where are we going?” you asked him, moving your shoulders to stretch, he narrowed his eyes at the mess you had in your desk, and moved some folders around, taking a picture from under a thin one.

“Why do you have a picture of the Colombian minister of defense?” he held the picture in his fingers and saw the small red marks you had drawn on it.

“I just want to know him, where are we going?” you saw him leave the picture over the folder he had found it under.

“To see general Serrano, I want him leading the operation,” he explained.

“And what do you want me to get ready for exactly?” you tilted your head, not really following what he was saying.

“We’re heading to Cali after” he put a hand on his waist and you raised your eyebrows, standing up almost by jumping.

“Let’s go, baby” you whispered, making him bite his lip to hide a grin.

The drive to the convent where general Serrano trained his men wasn’t very long, but in the way you got to see Bogota’s outskirts and admire the way the cold air met with the mountains. You got to talk more with Javier about your lives. He was oddly eager to know everything you did before getting into the DEA and why you had chosen to work there.

“It was a good way to put to good use what my dad called a  _ bullshit degree _ ” you had explained, your reply made Javier laugh because it certainly wasn’t, but then you explained to him that your dad wanted you to be a surgeon instead, and you had gone against his wishes to do what you really wanted. He then told you about him and his dad, you smiled at him when he told you he calls his old man at least once a week. You told him a bit about your time stationed in Mexico and the misadventures you had lived with your partners and the Federation. He told you about all the places in Bogotá and Medellín he had discovered over the years he had lived in Colombia even with the threat on his life and one particular café near the palace of justice he wanted to take you when you two had the time because it was  _ the best colombian coffee he had ever tried _ , he got to tell you a bit more about his former partner and you really wanted to meet that man. You really liked this new face of him, the one that told you things without having to be asked and the one that just shared what he wanted to share.

“Botero is being a fucking pain in the ass” Javier complained after a moment of comfortable silence, you took your eyes off your intertwined fingers to face him “he gave me another ultimatum, we have to strike Miguel or he’d fucking shut us down” you scrunched your nose, a gesture Javier had learned you made in both disgust and frustration.

“I really don't trust that man,” you stated.

“You don't even know him,” he scoffed, tightening the grip on your hand.

“Get me ten minutes with another five pictures of him and I will” you exclaimed with a grin.  _ Liar liar liar _ .

You arrived at the convent and saw general Serrano already waiting for you at the entrance. You were quite in awe at the size of the training camp when you got out of the suv, Javier, with tinted sunglasses already decorating his face, waited for you to walk around the car to approach the general. You felt his hand brushing the small of your back and you pushed your elbow backwards to move his arm.

“Agente Peña, mucho gusto” (agent Peña, nice to meet you) both men shook hands “señorita” (miss) he addressed you, Javier looked at you, waiting for you to respond to that.

“Agente Martín” you corrected him, serious faced, shaking his hand strongly, the general stiffened.

“Claro, agente” (of course, agent) corrigió, Javier tried to hide his grin by brushing his lip with two fingers “antes que nada, quiero que me acompañen a la capilla” (first of all, I want you to come with me to the chapel) you looked at Javier, he shrugged “me gusta que mis hombres sigan las leyes, del hombre y de Dios” (I like that my men follow the law, the law of men and of God) the man pointed at the sky and you raised your eyebrows, you weren’t such a fan of the whole  _ going to church on sundays _ routine but you could see how someone could cling onto that, the general crossed himself at the doorstep of the small chapel that was filled with police officers praying. The three of you stayed there for a few minutes until the general gestured to Javier, asking him to walk with him.

“Stay here” Javier told you, you saw him stopping his arm midway towards your face.

“Gladly” you whispered to him, he smiled softly through his sunglasses and turned to the general who was already walking ahead, Javier jogged a bit to catch up to him.

They walked and stopped near the entrance to another building; you tried to focus on Javier’s face; he looked frustrated and from your distance you could notice he was also worried, they stood up there for a few minutes, in which you saw Javier stiffen and look down, quite annoyed. He then turned around and walked towards you, you walked to meet him in the middle.

“Let’s go, we gotta meet his men” he announced, you crossed your arms.

“My favorite activity” you scoffed.

While walking to a big hangar the sun settled, when you arrived there were about ten men standing in position, waiting for orders, you noticed some boards with maps pinned on them; you felt the stares of some of the men and decided to ignore them. 

General Serrano introduced Javier and you to the team and starts explaining to them that the operation they’re about to perform has to be done right, as it was their duty with god, you saw Javier react with a huff everytime that the general mentioned the deity, as if he found it  _ unnecessary _ and bit your lip because somehow you found it funny, you didn't know if he was a religious man, but you guessed that due to the nature of the job you shared, he had to believe in something like that. After the general’s speech Javier slid one of the maps to a small table and started explaining to the men the huge nightmare the operation was, you stared at him as he gave everyone directions, included you, to which you only nodded, trying to remain professional, but to you he just looked  _ dreamy _ instructing everyone on where break in or what to look for, you snapped out of your small daydream when he called you to tell the men you were to flight in with him and Feistl and enter the building through the roof.

Once he finished general Serrano started another speech and he approached you to ask you to call Stoddard at the office just to double check that everything in Cali had been taken care of, while you use his satelital phone to do that, and to make  _ another _ call, he and Serrano distanced themselves from everyone else to talk, yet Javier still looked worried and somehow hesitant, he seemed like he didn’t want to be there at all and quite out of place, whilst you were waiting on Stoddard to make sure everything was green lighted you noticed Javier’s gestures while speaking with the general, they made him look like he was slowly losing his grip on the whole situation, when you hung up the phone you watched Serrano lashing out on Javier, and him just taking it. 

When you saw Serrano walk away from Javier you quickly got closer to him.

“Can we talk a bit?” you asked, he turned to see you, rubbing his lips with his fingers.

“We don’t have much time, we have to get going” you nodded at his remark and turned to both sides to make sure no one was paying attention to you.

“I know but you seem very distressed, I just wanna check on you” you hand moved to rest on his forearm and you felt him lean slightly to your touch.

“I feel distressed, I don’t want this to go to shit” Javier complained “we have way too much in our hands to be left looking like idiots” he let out a heavy sigh and you nodded again “Serrano doesn’t wanna stay here, we don’t know if the prosecutor is working for Cali, we’ve already wasted so much time” he started rambling.

“Hey” your hand traveled from his forearm to his shoulder and you shook him a little “I can’t guarantee that it’s gonna work, you know that” you murmured “but you see everyone here?” he glanced at the men that were chatting and just waiting around to start getting ready “you better believe that we’re gonna try” he smiled at your reassurance.

“I could kiss you right now” he muttered, putting a hand on yours over his shoulder and squeezed it, he sighed and you smiled at him.

“I dare you to do it” you smiled, he closed his eyes and huffed a laugh, turning around to walk away, you watched him with a satisfied smirk


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set in season three episode seven

“Let’s go, we gotta catch a plane” Javier said when walking towards you, you gave him a nod and walked with him to get inside the military aircraft that was about to fly you and the other ten men to Cali, the aura inside the plane as it took off was tense, it was heavy and silent, as you sat there, one hand gripping the seatbelt, you felt a warm touch in your thigh, you looked at it and say Javier’s hand resting on your leg, the heat of his skin was traveling to yours through the skin of your pants and made you feel way more relaxed, you turned to look at him and although he didn’t turn to look at you, you smiled at him slightly. And he did the same.

An hour later the plane was landing on a military tarmac and all the police officers were getting out of the plane while you waited inside, you saw Javier hesitate a little and then he took your hand on his. The way he was becoming so dependent on touching you and get comfort out of your body heat was both fascinating and scary.

When you got off the plane you were received by Feistl and Van Ness at the hangar entrance.

“Hi, boys” you greeted them with a small smile.

“You also came!” Van Ness obviated, you nodded “great!” he looked actually enthusiastic about it, Feistl also gave you an almost keen smile and you couldn’t help but compare the behavior both men were having towards you with the demeanor they had when you first met. It was something that was starting to make you feel really welcomed.

For a moment you lost sight of your… of Javier, so you took the chance to go get ready along with the team that was already getting their weapons ready, this time you did find a kevlar vest that was more your size and you wondered if Javier had something to do with it. It fit you almost perfectly and you smiled when you noticed the gun-shaped pocket on the front, just like the one he used.

You heard some noises outside and went to the hangar entrance, Feistl and Van Ness were there and you stood next to them as a svu parked a few feet away, Daniel went to it to check out if it was the man that was supposed to help you with the warrant for the raid. Then you felt a warm and  _ known _ pressure on the small of your back, over the vest.

“It’s that the guy with the warrant?” Javier asked Feistl, you looked up at him and he didn’t even address your gaze, so much for being  _ discrete _ . Fuck.

“Yeah” Chris replied, crossing his arms on his chest, not noticing your body go stiff next to him or his boss’s large hand on your body “looks friendly” he added.

“Yeah, I don’t give a shit as long as he does what he's told” you frowned at him, he looked down at you and without words you scolded him  _ cool yourself down _ .

He dropped his hand off your back when the helicopter’s helix that was about to fly you down to your destination inside the city started moving, the three of you walked towards the aircraft and Feistl hopped up first, you looked at Javier and he held his hand in the air for you to take, you did with a slight smile on your lips and hopped up as well, you sat next to Chris and Javier sat next to you, and absorbed the thick, tense atmosphere inside the helicopter, very much used to it.

No one talked, the only noises that could be heard were the helicopter engine and the pilot mumbling codes to the control tower. 

Javier’s hand rested on your knee the whole flight.

For a small moment you glanced at him and he was just looking at the city below you, when you sat straight on the tiny, uncomfortable bench you saw Feistl noticing your boss’s large hand on you out of the corner of your eyes, and breathed out when he just turned to the other side and didn’t say a word about it.

The twenty minute flight ended and the loss of Javier’s tender touch snapped you out of your thoughts. He jumped out of the helicopter and again, held a hand to help you as well. He knew you didn’t need it, he knew you could easily jump out of a moving helicopter any time of the day, but he still did it, because he knew that you knew the contact of your hands was not to comfort or help you, it was for him.

Without saying a word you drew out your guns and got inside the building, heading downstairs. Once you reached the apartment of Miguel Rodriguez you saw Feistl about to throw himself to the door, you grabbed him by the forearm while Javier raised his arm to stop him as well, the blond man looked at both of you, clearly confused.

“No, no, no” Javier whispered, holding him.

“What?” 

“Colombian law” Javier reminded him, he rolled his eyes and started arguing about the narco escaping or getting into a hideout while you waited for a  _ fucking prosecutor _ to give you permission to enter the house of a criminal.

“Chris, we gotta stick to the law or everything will go to shit” this time you reminded him, Javier looked exasperated as the three of you waited by the doorstep, you saw him get the radio out of the pocket of his vest and walk to the elevator, asking Van Ness through the device what the hell was going on.

“Why do we have to play by the book?” the blond man mumbled to himself.

“Because if we don't they'll leave us out” you told him, lowering your voice, making him sigh.

You looked at your watch and started getting anxious with every second that passed, the clock was ticking; the time was running out, everything felt heavier than before, the door next to you radiated something that felt definitely off and you were starting to feel the too well known sting of a fucking migraine inside your skull, you didn’t remember the last meal you had.

Feistl was jumpy and his foot was bouncing slightly trying to liberate some energy, Javier barked into the radio again, getting no response and you had nothing else to do but  _ wait _ , and you thought that neither of you could handle any more waiting.

The elevator door opened and the prosecutor walked out with Van Ness holding him by the arm, in the back of your mind you grinned because to you, Daniel Van Ness looked like a huge teddy bear trying to put on a mean face. He handed Javier something and you saw your boss turn to the man, who argued that the warrant he was supposed to sign had no address, you and Chris sighed at the same time.

For a second the silence fell and you could  _ hear _ the way Javier broke a little, he fist-grabbed the poor man from the neckline of the kevlar and pulled him to the wall.

“Javier” you warned him, and made a huge effort at stopping yourself from jumping over him to separate his body off the prosecutor’s

“You decide how you want this to go,” Javier told him through gritted teeth. You held your breath, not liking the situation at all, you glanced at your watch again, it was almost four in the morning, your headache was making your brain not think properly.

The prosecutor agreed to Javier’s  _ demands; _ you tried to control your nervousness as your aching brain laughed at the irony of how about twenty four hours earlier you were getting your brains fucked by the same man that sprinted to the door you were standing next to and banged the knocker loudly with the most exasperated expression you had ever seen on a man.

Everyone raised their guns as the door opened, Javier aimed his at the sicario on the threshold and informed him that you had a warrant to arrest Miguel Rodriguez, as you entered the apartment, gripping your glock and the officers behind you started roaming around when the sicario  _ casually _ informed that he wasn’t in the building. He had already hid. Fuck.

You glanced at Javier as he gave you a nod,  _ look around _ . You bit your lip and nodded back at him as he walked towards the stairs to clear the second floor.

Everything seemed chaotic, you walked around the living room and sighed exasperatedly at the lack of personality of the entire house. The door of a room next to the living room opened and you saw a child behind it, a small dark haired woman walked past you, telling you to leave the kid alone.

“Señora salga a la sala, por favor” (Ma’am please come out to the living room) you told her, trying to sound as politely as you could, considering the situation and the fact that your head was imploding, she looked at you for a moment and then guided the kid into the living room.

You started roaming around as Van Ness, Feistl and some of the police officers started tearing up the place to shreds, knocking over furniture as they knocked on the walls looking for air spaces, everything seemed empty but you knew he was somewhere around.

You heard police sirens, the sound made you frown and walk to the window. You moved the curtain to see down and noticed around three Cali police trucks pulling over the gate of the building.

“Cali police” you sighed to no one and whoever was there to listen. You stood there in the middle of the living room with the woman and the kid while their room was being cleared.

The boy looked at you, looking really small on the armchair he was sitting on, you tried to smile at him as his eyes dropped down for a second or two. Dan came out of the room with Chris behind him, complaining about the whole thing.

One of the officers walked towards you and leaned down to the boy, trying to ask him about Miguel, you frowned and grabbed him by the arm.

“Salga de acá” (get out of here) you barked at him at the same time the kid’s mother yelled to leave him alone.

The woman asked if the boy could go back to bed, you nodded and Feistl agreed, telling the cops still inside to get out of the room.

You turned to the door as a few Cali’s police men entered the apartment. Van Ness looked at you, flabbergasted, you closed your eyes and rubbed your temple with the hand that wasn’t holding the gun. Everything was getting out of control.

Your eyes opened when you heard people coming down the stairs, you saw a messy-haired, sweaty and clearly frustrated Javier walking down. One of the cops asked who was in charge of the op, louder than you would have liked.

“La DEA” Javier’s voice was rougher, you instantly knew he hadn’t found anything upstairs. He approached the man and they started discussing, the cop started being loudly patronizing towards Javier and you could only see and do so much but see how Javier just took it. 

The man implied that Miguel escaped and if your head wasn’t killing you in that moment you would have laughed at his poor try at a lie, Javier told him there was no evidence of the narco getting out of the building and they started discussing again.

Your back crashed against one of the fake greek pillars in the living room. Everything was going south and when you glanced at your partners, you knew they had noticed as well.

The sun was going up, it had been almost three hours since the operative started, you came out of one of the bedrooms with your head wanting to fall off your neck and you bumped against someone, you lifted up your head and Javier frowned when he noticed the pained quirk on your face.

“You okay?” he murmured, putting his hands on your shoulders, forgetting for a second where you were and how many people could see.

“My head is killing me” you saw his eyes soften for a moment as his hands squeezed your shoulders slightly.

“You checked the house?” his eyes wandered around your face as you nodded, you knew what he was asking and the short and only answer you could give him was:

“There’s nothing”

He let out a heavy sigh and dropped his hands off your shoulders, immediately making you miss the contact, he gave you a nod and walked past you, your eyes followed him as he got lost inside the house again. And there was nothing. It was the complete opposite of Gilberto Rodriguez’s home, it seemed so impersonal there wasn’t much you could do or see, it made you useless. There were no pictures, no actual hand picked art, the bedrooms and closets were already turned upside down. I just looked and felt like a fancy hotel suite, the kitchen was premade, the food that had been cooked when you arrived had been already eaten by the officers, there wasn’t even a smell that could tell you anything. Nothing made sense and you were tired, your head was pounding, nobody was doing what they were supposed to be doing and you were about to hit the twenty sixth hour with no sleep.

You noticed Javier and Chris getting into the wine room with one of the sicarios, one of the officers caught your attention when he told you to look down. The press was at the gate,  _ fuck _ .

Yet again you saw Javier sprint out of the wine room, he called for Van Ness and with a rough whisper half ordered, half asked you to stay put, then they and some other officers got out of the apartment.

Feistl walked out with the man close behind him and you studied the sicario through your headache, he looked disturbed, worried, scared and the ghost of an unhinged quirk roamed around his face, you glanced at your partner and he was as tired as you could imagine, but also terribly tense. He nodded his chin at you.

“Let’s check again” the two of you walked to one of the hallways that led to an office “could you find something?” he asked you and you shook your head when he turned to see you.

You frowned when you saw some officers knocking around the ebony desk, Chris jogged to help them once they tried to lift it, failing as it was apparently extremely heavy. Then Feistl pushed the desk and knocked it over to the front. Breaking it.

“For fuck sake, Chris” you muttered, he kneeled in front the destroyed desk and found a large lodger under a board that was hidden inside “what’s that?” you walked towards him, you both started skimming through the pages, it had names, dates and amounts, but some of them were just nonsense “is this coded?” you asked him when Javier walked in.

“What happened here?” he looked at the mess.

“It fell over” you and Feistl claimed at the same time.

“It fell over?”

“In a way it did” Chris shrugged, you grinned through your pain and exhaustion “check this out”

Javier walked towards you and took the lodger, you and Chris stood there while he browsed through the book, for a moment you allowed yourself to get lost in the way his brow was furrowed, and how is eyes narrowed at the small handwriting, and the way he licked his lips while skimming the pages, and the way his hand looked huge holding the back of the large book. He snapped the book closed and that startled you out of your longing.

“Come on, there’s something we gotta do” the three of you walked out of the office “we went downstairs to measure the entire apartment below” Javier explained, you frowned, your brain was exhausted and you didn’t have any more reading juice in you to assume or conclude anything “we think he might have built a caleta here” you walked into the bathroom on the main bedroom, Van Ness was already inside looking through some papers, you kept back the wish to grab Javier’s hand and ask him if he was okay, so instead you sat down in the edge of the bathtub as Van Ness pulled out a measuring tape, handed it to Feistl and the three of them kneeled on the floor.

“What exactly am I looking for?” Feistl asked.

“This area downstairs measures in at a hundred and eight inches” Van Ness said, you wanted to laugh at them for being kneeled in the floor of a narco’s bathroom measuring the floor but decided against it.

“Guys I’m reading eighty four,” Feistl revealed, you stood up and walked to them.

“Is he really inside the fucking wall?” you whispered, more to yourself than to them, frustrated because you hadn’t put two and two together, if his brother was hiding inside a bathtub when you found him, it would be logical that he had a hiding spot in the bathroom as well, but you were so thrown back by the impersonality of the house and the chaotic nature of the whole raid that you didn’t stop to think about it, as you knew that although they were brothers, they were completely different. The men looked at you “well, he would suffocate in there” you obviated.

“I’m gonna find a power drill,” Van Ness announced.

Dan walked out of the bathroom and Javier approached you.

“Are you okay?” he asked you, you saw him raising his arm, most probably to anchor himself to you but decided against it, you nodded slowly and tried to give him a small smile. You moved a bit closer and brushed his wrist with your fingers, a slight, soft touch you knew he needed, and so did you, you were about to tell him that your head was not pounding anymore when Daniel came back with a sledgehammer, a huge drill and an even huger drill bit. Your eyes widened when you realized the amount of noise that thing was about to make as he plugged it to the wall and walked to the tiled wall.

The cop that was discussing with Javier earlier walked into the bathroom with a smugly expression that you wanted to get rid of with your bare fists.

“Oh fuck” you muttered.

“Ustedes no pueden romper esa pared, no tienen autorización” (you can’t tear down that wall, you don’t have authorization) he barked, you rolled your eyes.

“¿Qué va a hacer usted para que paremos?” (what are you gonna do to stop us?) Javier replied, making him shut his mouth, you crossed your arms on your chest over the kevlar “let’s go” he nodded to Daniel.

Van Ness started drilling on the wall, the sound the drill made while piercing through the tile and the bricks made your brain scream in pain, you closed your eyes and clutched your jaw trying to not draw any attention to yourself so they kept going, you heard the drill go all the way through the wall and then… empty space. You opened your eyes, expectantly.

“There’s an air space back there” Dan said as he tried to drill another hole on the tiled wall, there was the sound again but you didn't close your eyes, Javier stepped closer and then the drill went in all the way, Van Ness didn't wait and he pulled out the drill and tried on another spot on the tiled wall.

“Try the hammer,” said Feistl, you saw Van Ness grin at his partner as he dropped the drill to the floor and grabbed the large sledgehammer and started hitting the wall.

Daniel hits the wall once, twice and then looks at Javier, who’s looking at you, the air felt heavy and you felt the stares of the police officers standing in the doorway in your body, Van Ness goes at it a third time and was about to go a fourth when a man in white shorts entered the bathroom.

“You gotta be kidding me” you sighed.

“Pare lo que está haciendo” (stop what you’re doing) the three men turned around.

“Oh Jesus Christ we’ve been over this already” Feistl raised his arms, frustrated.

The man introduced himself as the Cali’s Attorney General, you rolled your eyes as he ordered Van Ness to lower the hammer and stop damaging the properties, quoting a bullshit article of the law. 

Feistl started arguing back to the man.

“Chris!” you and Javier yelled his name at the same time, trying to shut him up.

“No, fuck that!” Chris yelled, you looked at him and then saw Javier trying to not lose his shit as well. “Miguel Rodriguez is right here, inside this wall”

“And you’ve broken the law” the supposed attorney general started accusing the three of you of breaking the Colombian law and threatened to file complaints against each of you, and asked for your passports. You and your partners turned to look at Javier, waiting for him to say something.

“Put it down, we’re down here” Javier muttered, referring to the hammer still in Dan’s hand, putting his hands on his waist, clearly angry.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me” Feistl barked.

“Give him your passport, Chris,” he looked at you as you grabbed yours from your bag and shot you a look you haven’t seen in weeks,  _ i’m sorry _ .

After the man made a call with your passports in hand he gave them back to you and Javier nodded towards the door. It was a fucking mess.

The four of you walked out of the apartment and into the elevator. The trip to the first floor was silent, which you and your head appreciated. The elevator doors opened and you walked behind Javier.

“Thanks for having our backs up there, boss” Feistl coughed out.

“Feistl, shut the fuck up” you hissed to him. You saw out of the corner of your eye Dan elbowing him to shut him again, and they started scheming a stake out to tail him out of the building. You rolled your eyes once again.

“We’re on a plane to Bogotá,” Javier interrupted “meet Crosby tonight and the defense minister in the morning, he makes the call on our visas” your partners looked at their boss in bewilderment, you chewed on your lip, you knew it “it’s over, we fucked up” he turned around and walked through the gates, you looked at your partners and shrugged, knowing there wasn’t much you could do, then turned around to follow Javier.

He was asking one of the officers to drive him back to the hangar, he heard you walking towards him and turned to see you. He didn’t say a word, and you didn’t either. Without giving it too much of a thought you reached to him and grabbed his hand, squeezing it as hard as you could despite your tiredness and your headache, knowing he might have needed it, he just sighed.

The ride to the hangar where the plane that was about to take you back to Bogotá was silent and long, you drifted off and felt worse when the feeling of the car’s ignition turning off woke you up.

When you and Javier finished preparing everything to board the plane again Feistl was at the hangar’s entrance talking on the phone, he looked worried, even more than on the raid, and scared, Javier handed you the lodger you had found on the house and you wanted to ask Feistl if he was alright but didn’t, just walked past him to get to the plane and sat down in the same uncomfortable chair you had sat on the way there, putting the lodger on your lap.

Javier sat next to you and once the plane was in the air he just took the book from you and started looking through it with a little more detail.

You leaned to your side to check it out over his shoulder, and he shifted a bit to give you more space to read with him. Your cheek was on his shoulder as he skimmed the pages and you felt the questioning gazes of your partners in front of you, and from the way Javier was breathing you knew he could feel them as well. But you didn’t say a word.

Most of the pages inside the lodger were coded, so you couldn’t really understand, but there were numbers, quantities, dates and some names, and when you looked at him you knew he had realized the book was the key to bring the cartel down. And for once in weeks, you were scared for him.


End file.
